I think I've decided to conclude my cyber dairy and record of this life transition. I've realized recently after I was able to get a lot of restful sleep, that I can't keep putting myself on blast. Some of the controversy reminds me of my earlier years and I've took someone's advice about whats goin' on. I guess I should say that after these recent 4 weeks, I've managed to adapt to the things I have happening. This internet journal for The National Student Exchange back at home in Ashland, I think its lended itself well as a manuscript. I've proved my points to myself and everyone else I've needed to about some of what I do and how I do it. Right now I'm just ready to embark on whats next. This whole internet journal may have been a way to help me modify my life by what I've experienced. But as of now, I guess it could be best to let life live itself. All things will makes sense when they should. What ever is supposed to happen will.
I guess recently, I've looked over some of the material I've created, and I've sensed a lack of balance because of culture shock, and the life choices and chances that manifested themselves to me. I remember everything of course. But I've also noticed that my sleeping pattern went crazy which made me feels things that were out of the ordinary. I should probably acknowledge why I began to fall behind on a lot of sleep because doing so, it kinda made my amygdala swell a little. I guess it may have been my room. My residence here at UVI, I was always frustrated with excessive heat. I don't know anyone that CAN sleep in a sauna. I lost a lot of focus and may have conveyed things that now happen to be against better judgment.
I couldn't sleep in all the excessive heat waves and my room failed to be air condition as I wasn't even provided with a fan. So I kept taking lots of naps where I could but could never get a full, decent night's rest. I have been able to recently. But I also knew that every time I actually DID get to sleep in my residence, a buncha spiders and mosquitoes kept eating my feet when I sleep. I already got crazy scars and I don't like tarantulas : ) But after a four week course. I feel level and ready to take things in. So I guess I can relax about transcribing any manuscripts about these adventures and life lessons. It dawned on me that spirit and machine don't coincide with each other really well so it is easy for someone like me to become misunderstood through computers due to how I talk better than type. I can be too spirited to be interpreted correctly through a 2-demensional world that doesn't relay HOW I would say things. I guess I was just infatuated with internet for a while after I almost passed on. It's been a season since then. Here where I am though, summer is extended. It might be crazy to abandon the equator of an endless summer and then render reverse culture shock again goin' in to a winter wonderland. But I have discovered other endeavors to make happen. And maybe some of these experiences and enlightenments are as they should be right now. Things are cool.
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Travel Travel Travel
Two Years Later, Here & Now, I'm Livin Proof Of The Truth In Them Wishes*
"I've face my demons wrestling these angels to the ground....
and all that I could find.... Was a thin line between all the saints and villains... It Was Crossed...
In my own mind."
*~ Jason Wade of LifeHouse ~*
"Everyone can know what is in my heart because I find it hard to conceal myself."
Shakira
"When We Dream, Our Souls Leave Our Body."
My Philosophy Professor Prakash
"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge."
Anonymous
~The First Time I Actually Slept On The Beach~
Yet, I Had A Lot On My Mind...
It Lives as It Gives...
Between the Staircase and the Cove
And Trapped For What They Mean...
The Projex and connects
Justin and Brandy
Maybe I Was Supposed To Come Here...
Locked Within The High School Halls Where it All Began
That the Past Is Real*
Following The Star I May Have Came From...
My Own Internal Spirit....
I'm Sure...
A Ship Musta Wrecked : )
Blue Radiance ~ Blue Waters ~ Blue Eyes ~ Blue Shorts~
Thy Will Be Done On Earth As It Is In Heaven
Even When In Doubt*
Guessin and Blessin
But I Miss Home A Lot...
He Says I'm Mucho Man Randy Savage, a Tiger, and a LION : )
Residing in the Tropics & Exotics
It Isn't What You Think... Believe Me*
Under The Moon
Reflections of my Past
Happy and Hilarious to Hear : )
The Coast ~ HOME
It's as Famous as the Coral Reefs, The Grand Canyon, & Many other Worldly Locations...
Or Find Someone in This World to Enjoy Eternally
Cliffs of Moher
Maybe Some Day
He Said He Is Happy I'm Here****
Life Should Be An Adventure... And It Actually Is...
It's So Warm*
My Third Eye Opened... And Numbers and Symbols Meant So Much More*
Hebert Was The Most Hilarious and Out Of Control Soul Ever*
I Would've loved to talk when I was here...
La La La
You KNOW THIS : ) LOL
You Wanna Go Don't You?
Wishin' for the Emerald Pool
Unto the Secret Cave
Breathe
A Second Chance
Friends of the Mermaids
They Brought Me Here After Open Mic Night on 9/11
Rest Easy...
I was really restless on my birthday. I could not go to sleep. I had a lot on my mind on a night like that. So I took my IPOD and walked around campus just rockin’ out in my own mode alone. I never wear shirts here except when I have to. Never at night unless I’m inside a building. I was next to the housing building here at UVI and all I had was my sandals, my shorts, my IPOD and my bandanna. I saw an on-campus cop drive up the road as if he was just driving by. Of course I thought he was gonna keep driving and I didn’t think anything of it at all. But naaah. He stopped right behind me and I pulled my headphones off that were on blast. And he started talkin’ like a cop at me. I wasn’t doin’ anything wrong at all but apparently it was an issue to have my shirt off at night here in the Caribbean. It sounded quite retarded so in my politeness, I asked him if it was illegal to be without a shirt here in the Virgin Islands. He said, “Just put on your shirt. If your on campus, you have to wear a shirt. If you are at the beach you don’t.”
So I’m like, “Aright, well, I was not aware because I just got here a week and a half ago so I did not know that was criminal. Could you tell me what law I’m breaking so I know what not to do since I am new here?”
He started to get authoritative with his debates and I believed that if he was gonna conduct his occupation in a professional manner, he’d have no problem acknowledging the laws instead of making them up according to his own arouses. As soon as I was courteous and well-spoken against this nonsense, he clearly reaffirmed his silly demands and drove off. He implied some kinda fine for something that isn’t called for. It is only in examples like these that I delight on disobeying police officers. Or authority in general. And Gandi did it all the time maan. I would never give a police officer a reason to practice his occupation. Evil people do it daily. I’m not one of those people though. However, at times, I’m very capable of taking justice into my own hands because I don’t believe the criminal justice systems are always pacifying or affective. There are 3 types of Justice: Social Justice, Street Justice, or Legal Justice (which is also considered court justice). This security officer probably expected me to go to my room and get in my dresser and comply with his demands. But I figure if he wants to say I can’t be on campus without a shirt but I can be on the beach without a shirt, then I’m not gonna go the direction he demanded me to. I just walked my half-naked ass to the beach and gave myself my own peace of mind.
However, everyone here says it is very dangerous to go to the beach at night. I heard it 10 times within 4 hours the first night. All faculty members give repetitive warnings about going to the beach at night. To do so in groups is not as “risky” (as they say) but to go in small numbers is not advised. Let alone, going by yourself. People declare there is a danger in going down there, but that doesn’t really worry me. I enjoy danger sometimes too to be truthful. It can be a thrill every now and again. So going to the beach alone was never a worry to me. Even though, apparently, no one else will. So I walked on…
This is where I realized something on my 26th birthday…
I was sitting alone by the Caribbean Bay at Brewers Beach. Brewers Beach is property of The University of the Virgin Islands. My college here has its own beach. I was close to the humid tropic waters washin’ against the white sands at night staring into the clear night sky. I saw stars that are not visible where I am from. Reason why, is because I was practically on the equator. I saw constellations that are not possible to see back at home. I was finally where I always wanted to be. Years ago, I fantasized about ultimately residing at a place where I could feel content and humble, a lot like a lion in a jungle. I never really believed these things were possible to occur so soon from the time I had desired it just a few years ago when I got my foot in the door at the University in Southern Oregon. I was a transfer student from South Western Oregon Community College in Coos Bay / North Bend that was able to get back in school when I was 23, because I just TRIED two years ago. And now, I turn 26 this day, this night. And it dawned on me. I looked into the Caribbean night sky believing I might see shooting stars over the Atlantic or the waters beyond the shores of these islands. But I said to myself, “Even if I was to see a shooting star, I’d let it go. I wouldn’t make a wish. I’d just watch it soar.” Long ago, as I was counting my struggles and my own difficult stepping stones just getting out of Bandon to a place that has more for me, I was once obsessed with the concept of shooting stars. People have told me they think I’m very interesting, or SO interesting. I hear it almost all the time. I’ve only been here 13 days and I’ve already heard that compliment at least 7 times. So long ago, some people believed it would be cool to ask me what I would wish for if I could have one thing come true. I told them, “You wanna know what I’d wish for?” “Yeah, we do Justin…” "Well… I guess I would wish that I didn’t NEED a wish…” And so for the very first time in my life, on my 26th birthday, I realized what I wished for long ago became true for me then and there. I was where I always wanted to be. Of course people would declare an undying desire to wish for love. And I’m no different when it comes to that. I guess there is no way that anyone has everything. And even if they DO, it doesn’t mean they earned it.
When I was in Bandon growing up, I always drew a lot of power and serenity from the beaches at home when I was a teenage dragon living in a world of chaos. It was my place of refuge when things got beyond my scope. Power and serenity were the two descriptions that captured what it was like for me then, and there. But these beaches here, it wasn’t as much power and serenity, I actually felt more free and euphoric.
I kept hearing a buncha crazy sand insects that lead me to wonder if there were any scorpions here, or particularly 15 feet within my radius. And I kept my eye out about my surrounding. But it was not long till my worries and wonders were alleviated. But I have always had my own way of handling things I guess. And I have been employed as a councilor before so a lot of the time, I trust my own advice to myself whether people would know so or not.
After thinking out loud in a way, or letting my mind recite things I wished could’ve been heard; I got to the point where I felt very comfortable instead of conflicted. Soon after, I stared at the beaches from left to right. Then I looked into the sky, saw a very powerful shooting star, and then walked home alone. I was listening to song called ‘Where Fishes Go’ by the band LIVE. And I really felt this song so much that my body language was quite clear of this truth. It felt very powerful to me. But just as subtle too.
It Let Me Let It Go
Before I Went and Busted my Back at Alitak in the Summer
Mermaid's Chair / West Side of the Island...
I have three history courses here, and one world literature class. My first day at school was the coolest ever man. My first class was involving poetry and drama. I am one of 3 men in this class. So regarding a lot of the romantic poetry we study. My contributions to the class seem to activate a lot of dialogue among these women here. We studied a poem called “In The Orchard” by Muriel Stewart. It illustrated a woman who really loved the man she had these close moments with, yet in the man’s eyes, it was nothin’ more than fun. So things I said in class really entertained a lot of the fellow female students here.
The professor asked if we believe in love or love at first sight. I told him that I wish we had more background on what occurred between the two characters before this moment in the orchard because it would help shine light on the situation. I said that if they were just new to each other, there wouldn’t be any ground for declaring things as powerful as the word “love.” Some girls had a helluva reaction to this so I was put on a hot-seat. They misconstrued me and asked if I think that men are just heartless.
I said, “No, not at all. I actually mean the opposite. But where I’m from, people could not say such a thing until enough is built up between two people. It was never safe to pronounce something suddenly or soon. It is too powerful to pronounce something with the word “love” in the main-lands because in a society where chivalry is dead, people become frightened for feeling things oriented around the virtues of love. I am not one of those people though because I’m one of the few who actually DO believe in it.
But about this example that is present in this piece of poetry, it is very common to see women believing amorous, affectionate, passionate moments to be oriented around emotional progress when in a man’s eyes, it is done out of sport or fun. That’s all over the place. I’m not that way and I believe women should be regarded with respect, trust, and honor – instead of selfishness, ridicule, or negligence. But I’ve often found that women are just the same way with men like visa versa. Some women are the type to eat a man’s heart out as soon as they see that they can. It does go both ways in most cases. A lot of guys that are true, good, affectionate, and even maybe soft-hearted – they are the first to be disregarded while calloused assholes seem to get somewhere with the most gorgeous girls. It is nothing I abide by or even agree with, but it is very evident. Yet some women are more sensitive than others, meaning that what some women want is oriented around soft-hearted affection, while other girls are just more so socially aggressive or ‘butterfly.’ That might just be an American thing though…
I can also remember saying that I believe in love and monogamy but in my eyes, there is a difference between "loving" someone and being “In” love with someone. I told them I have my reasons though because of my experience and ideals. They were all very curious of this as I spoke in class. So I explained it that "loving someone" is very easy but more often than not, it can be a one-way street; meaning that you could always love someone deeply or hold them in the highest regard in your own heart – but it doesn’t mean the same thoughts or feelings could, or would be returned. Yet, if you are “In” love with someone, that’s what makes life worth while. Because it is mutual. If it isn't mutual, you ain't "In" anything. You just wishin'. But when you find that your actually "in" it, it's even beyond this world. It is a mutual passionate madness that two share with each other when they finally discover it for the right reasons with one another. It is oriented around trust, affection, sex and reflection, effort and understanding, compromise, patience, communication. It is something that exist when two people no longer have any reasons for being doubtful with one another. It is something that exists when two people no longer throw up any walls all around their fears of heart-brake or uneasiness. Its a result of two people becoming something magical with each other as lovers, and as best friends with one another. It is void of fear and doubt and more about running to the end of the world without caution or reason. I’ve only felt it once in my life and it’s pretty priceless. It was actually long-distance too. And it happened very long ago. But I know that acknowledging that you love someone isn’t anything that can be spoken until it is clear or safe to say.
One girl looks me in my eyes and says, “Well… When do you know when to say that you love someone after being with them for so long?”
I looked at her and smiled, leaned in, and was like, “Thassa DAMN good Question."
Then I went to my one of the three of my Caribbean History courses. This was absolutely hilarious. I showed up to the class where I believed I’d be seeing my professor. This kind of structured class has never been known to me at all in any of my classes in any of my education, from a little boy to a full grown man. I found out that we were having this class THROUGH technology. The professor was actually in St.Croix on another island and we do this course here in St. Thomas through a Titan-Tron. And the microphone systems where right next to me and I did not know it at all. It was interactive through live technological equipment. Before this though, the woman who was bringing us to this class, she was so cool and social. She had a lot of style and was entirely helpful. Before we got put through with the right machines that got our professor on some virtual reality screen that was like a webcam, she asked us just in conversation, what we would want to learn knowing we were going into a Virgin Island History course. I gave the first response, “Well, I would think I could found out why these Caribbean Islands became known as the 'Virgin' Islands." The class reacted like, “Holy Shit.” But it was a damn good question maan~ : )
Some had an idea because they are ethnic here or even native in a way. So they had explained it long ago that there were about 10,000 Virgins on these islands and supposedly, they got burned. Something like a holocaust or sacrificial ritual long ago. No one knew why. I says, “Man, those virgins shoulda never been burned at all they shoulda been exalted."
We all introduced ourselves to this woman that was very courteous, cool, and helpful. Two of the guys in this class with me are from New York. And anyways, One of those guys made some Whoopy Goldberg comment to the lady that was cool to us just because she had an accent and an ethnic background. I looked at him and I was like, “Man, you SOUND like your from New York, you know it?” I don’t think he liked that but I’ll be damned if I wasn't gonna say it, whether I was from the West Side or not. And anyways, the other one from New York, he seems cool to me and he’s a psychology major. When he acknowledged this with the professors over the machines, the professor asked, “If you’re a psychology major, could you give a psychological evaluation or elaboration on why it seems most men here have 4 women and that is common or acceptable?”
This guy didn’t respond initially. He kinda acted like he couldn’t hear it (but maybe he just didn't hear it) and I looked at him and I was like, “Man, he just asked you a damn good question, you gonna answer him or what?” And I guess the microphones were still right next to me and I didn’t know so, so I guess I was “on blast” in St. Thomas AND in St. Croix. And all the students in St. Croix were laughin’ they asses off at me through the screen. I became pretty amused because it WAS a blast. I wasn't used to this shit. It was funnier than Hell. Soon as I knew he was a psychology major, I asked him if he knew what the amygdala was. He didn't. The amygdala is the part of the human brain that is responsible for a humans emotions. It is the part of our human psychology that regulates our emotions as human beings.
And whereas, I thought I could just talk to a fellow student right next to me and feel as if I was speaking to him himself, evidently, I was talking over the professors through the machines 'not-knowingly.' So I was just chuckling and I couldn’t stop feeling very hilarious because everything I did or said, they had on blast through machines I never knew. And they had them hooked up to amps with microphones. I was mic’d up and oblivious, and it was craaaazzy.
Later in the night, I went to my last class. I went to my last Caribbean History Course with a professor who seems to be my favorite so far. His name is Mr. Sekou and he is very down-to-earth. He seems just as social and street wise as he is knowledgeable and scholarly. He saw me sitting at the desk and asked me what my name was. I said, “Justin, or Crum, whichever one your more comfortable with.”
“Chrome? Like the metal?”
I was like, “Nah, I am a metal-head but my last name is a four-letter word ~ C.R.U.M.” : )
He was like, “Crum?”
“Yeah, like Malibu Rum but Malibu Crum. Captain Morgan’s Rum, but Captain Morgan’s Crum…”
He was like, “Man, that’s hardcore. You LOOK like a pirate too.”
I was like, “Sometimes I am, but this beard and bandanna… I’m Irish, actually.”
Mr. Sekou was like, “Wow Mr. Crum… Well, have you noticed anything special or odd about this class so far?”
“Nah, not yet man. I just got here about 10 minutes ago.”
“Well… Look around, do you see that me and you are the only two men here?”
“Now that you point it out, yeah, I do actually.”
I found out I was the only man in this class, the rest were women. I was kinda surprised I didn’t know this ahead of time.
He said, “Usually most men believe that to be a GOOD thing but it is true that it can be bad too.”
I was like, “Well, I agree with the first half of what you said but I don’t understand what way it could be bad.”
All the girls started to laugh they asses off. It WAS pretty funny. This man was very aware of the Irish history and heritage. I told him I just got back from Ireland and I ended up speaking for about 15 minutes about what Ireland was like because he believed I woulda been considered a foreigner or that maybe I was discriminated against. I explained it that it was the opposite and I was actually embraced at the place. They thought I was a thrill and they all couldn’t have seen it to be the same experience if I wasn’t there. I described how I found out I was Irish.
He said, “Yeah man, you look Irish. You got a strong beard.”
I told him, “I’m Irish AND Native American. And I guess I got elements of French in me too, which probably explains a lot of romantic ideals or super-sexual energy.”
That was some shit to say in a class full of women but I am well-spoken and it is MY education I’m paying for so I didn’t mind being myself and speaking any truth. But I was more adamant about acknowledging that I didn’t give much validity or curiosity towards the part of my heritage that is French because I found out about the Native American Testimony and the Trans-Atlantic Relations between Ireland and the United States.
I told him that my heritage is a historical dichotomy regarding the Indians genocide and the White Man’s Westward Expansion from 13 colonies to 50 states, at the birth of this nation. And how my family tree is a product of the historical things that came from the conquest that was “From Sea To Shining Sea.” He enjoyed me already.
There were things he professed in his lectures that statistically indicated men’s behavior to be animalistic and sexually irresponsible regarding population crisis’ and how men can seemingly be with several or even many women, yet when women do the same, it is intolerable or unacceptable, even condemned. I was the only man in this class so I was asked to reflect what I thought about how guys can be players but if girls were to do the same, they’d be whores or sluts.
I said, “Well, first of all, I think whores and sluts are precious but I myself believe in love and monogamy. I honestly think it is disgusting that men can conduct themselves as irresponsible pleasure-seekers and somehow be glorified for it. But I feel that way because of what I believe in and I’m not a common example of what most men are like at all. I disagree with the cultural stereotypes that seem prevalent today. I mean, regarding heartlessness, apathy, selfish desensitized outlooks. I do not believe in a lot of what I see in my surroundings at all.
By this time, it seemed that every eye was on me and that they were very interested in hearing me speak. Let alone speaking as the only man in this class. There came another question deriving from economy and death, soldiers and victims.
Mr. Sekou asked us how much we believe a young man’s life is worth if he was to die. And how much a parent could be entitled to regarding lawsuits or settlements if some young man was to either be murdered in the streets or killed in war. This question was pertaining to young men between the ages of 18 and 25. So he asked me,
“Mr. Crum, how much do you think your parents could sue someone for if someone murdered you? What do you think the expense of your death would be worth?”
I says, “I’ve already almost died a few times man, but to…”
Everyone reacted to this instantly and it caused a little disruption but it was a good disruption I guess. I continued and said, “...But to answer your question, my parents wouldn’t be immediately concerned for lawsuits or money if I was to die by someone who killed me. They wouldn’t care about money at all. My Dad would hunt the bastard down and take matters into his own hands and deal with it personally.”
This made quite a reaction too. And I was being very truthful. Everyone thought it was awesome where I was coming from with what I said throughout the day, and that night.
So in reflecting on my first day of school in these tropical dreams, my first day of college here in St. Thomas was incredible!!!
Lady Out The Water. Mermaids is IT....
~Theres Been Way Too Much on My Mind in Crum's Chronicles~
He Said It Is Of The Shape Of a Heart. I Said It Looks A Lot Like An Ass* They All Started Laughin' So Hard At Me In The Safari Maan...
But I Find the Dolphins Maan...
I Told Him Who I Am and Why I'm Here... We Smiled...
Through the day, my homeboy Penny went to say, “Hey Crum, You wanna party with us tonight mon?” I was like, “Whats Happenin’?”
“U.V.I. Club Night” So I says, “Aite, I’m in.”
And So we got there. We all piled into a University Shuttle. I was to sit up front. And I brought my camera for the projex. It was a blast just getting there man. I kept recording all the cops. All the other UVI people with us just kept laughin’ every time I busted out my camera and recorded the POLICE. They thought that was funny. A lot of people sensed me because of what I do, then they ask me of a lot of things outta curiousity.
So anyways, we got there and went in for free. We started to drink because all the drinks were free for us. Later as the night went on, I ended up meeting a homie who, apparently he’s one of the clubs masterminds. He dug me a lot and after we became friends in an instant, I landed VIP pass and a Badge as a Guest of Honor at one of the hottest clubs in all of St. Thomas for the entire time I’m here.
Close to the midnight hour, it started to become packed. Before I knew it, all the energy was consolidated and concentrated. It became very hot and super-social. A lot of people introduced themselves to me. It turns out that the dancer, she works for the club and SHE met me too. She thought I was from California. I asked her how she could tell because everyone I’ve ever met, whether they were women particularly, or California homies, or even many people who are NOT from California, they all always believe I’m from California when they first start to know me. She kept giving me props for me being ‘California’ but I told her that I’m actually from Southern Oregon and that I grew up on the West Coast of Oregon. Between the Club connect and her (as a Dancer) they were both two people who were involved in all of what the club does, and is. That homeboy of mine that tells me to stop by anytime, cuz money won’t ever matter.
When we went back in though… There were too many women that were tryin’ to make passes at me so I told my homeboy Celestino that we roll outside and conduct the projex. The security guard told me to take my bandanna off. My attire was a controversial. As me and Stino got outside, I started runnin’ my Crum Gums about one of the tightest nights of my life. This “UVI Nite Club," an interview in my own mode. I had the most hilarious and entertaining shit to say and so we rolled with our drinks to the next spot across the way. Duffy’s. Stino had the camera rollin for the projex and I kept conducting the video diary about my travels. He brought the camera up to the tropical residents who were noticin’ what we were doin’. And I can’t wait to make sense of all the footage I have next year. A couple was by the bar and the palm trees. Justin and Brandy. They were both cool and friendly as hell. They thought it was awesome that me and Stino were runnin’ it like that. We got back and the man that practically owns the club, he pulled me aside and introduced me to a lot of his crew. The bartender girls said they were cool and didn’t mind the camera.
I woke up and rocked out to the Smashing Pumpkins ‘Where Boys Fear To Tred.’ There really is only one way to listen to a lot of the music I love. And that is LOUD. The louder it is, the better it feels. Then I went and found some more iguanas.
VIP For The Entire Time I'm Here. One of the Hottest Clubs in Saint Thomas.
An Excellent Impression of Virgin Island Night Life.
Love and Pain are one in the same in the eyes of a wounded child. It was never that I was trying to draw any focus to myself. I just believed that if I knew how to keep record of me having these rare wishes come true, I'd be stupid not to. I really miss home though, as well as the optical illusion of who was next to me spiritually - someone who triggered my imagination in the strongest way*
After I Graduate, This is Where I Might Find Myself
Travel Travel Travel
Ed Frum LIVE Said
Life is like a shooting star, it don't matter who you are; If you only run for cover - it's just a waste of time*
I've always believed it is better to give than to receive. But if ever there was a day that I received as much as I gave, then I would be in bliss.
I've always believed it is better to give than to receive. But if ever there was a day that I received as much as I gave, then I would be in bliss.
4 Days After...
~10,000~
My Everyday is Worth 10,000 Words
~~~~
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~~~
~
Love and pain are one in the same in the eyes of a wounded child
(I seen it in a television)
Sadness is better than laughter: for by the countenance the heart is made better.
Ecclesiastes 7:3
~~~~
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~~~
~
Love and pain are one in the same in the eyes of a wounded child
(I seen it in a television)
Sadness is better than laughter: for by the countenance the heart is made better.
Ecclesiastes 7:3
Two Years Ago, This Is Where I Said I Wished I'll Ultimately Be...
Two Years Later, Here & Now, I'm Livin Proof Of The Truth In Them Wishes*
Words of the Wise
"I've face my demons wrestling these angels to the ground....
and all that I could find.... Was a thin line between all the saints and villains... It Was Crossed...
In my own mind."
*~ Jason Wade of LifeHouse ~*
"Everyone can know what is in my heart because I find it hard to conceal myself."
Shakira
"When We Dream, Our Souls Leave Our Body."
My Philosophy Professor Prakash
"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge."
Anonymous
My videos From Home and The Virgin Islands
~My Dad~
He already knows*
The Morning After...
~The First Time I Actually Slept On The Beach~
~What It Is~
Though This Is Technically Called A "Blog," I Refer To It As An 'Internet Book' That Is An Electronic Journal, Diary, or Record of My Adventures In The Caribbean. Do Not Mind The Length or Language. This is an interpersonal transcription of what I think, feel, see, live, and experience here.
And For The Record, I DO Believe In God and Praise The Lord* Regarding all Hardships and Challenges in Life: I Always felt that if God Would Bring You To It, He Will Bring You Through It. I Am A Man of Faith & Ambition and I Have Always Took Inspiration and Motivation Seriously. You Only Have One Life To Live & I Have Made It A Point To Refuse To Let Life And My Dreams Pass Me By. I Have Never Let My Fire Die. And I Was Never Scared or Afraid of Putting Myself In The World I Never Knew. I Never Had Cold Feet To Leave And Pursue My Dreams. This Is Another Account That Proves These Things To Be True*
Regardless of Who Knows or Not.
And There ain't No Way I Wouldn't Say It: I HAVE THE GREATEST PARENTS IN THE WORLD:
Robert & Connie*
~*My Dad Is A King And My Mother Is An Angel*~
My Parents are more Powerful than the Federal Reserve. I would not Doubt it if Some Day, the world knew it.
And For The Record, I DO Believe In God and Praise The Lord* Regarding all Hardships and Challenges in Life: I Always felt that if God Would Bring You To It, He Will Bring You Through It. I Am A Man of Faith & Ambition and I Have Always Took Inspiration and Motivation Seriously. You Only Have One Life To Live & I Have Made It A Point To Refuse To Let Life And My Dreams Pass Me By. I Have Never Let My Fire Die. And I Was Never Scared or Afraid of Putting Myself In The World I Never Knew. I Never Had Cold Feet To Leave And Pursue My Dreams. This Is Another Account That Proves These Things To Be True*
Regardless of Who Knows or Not.
And There ain't No Way I Wouldn't Say It: I HAVE THE GREATEST PARENTS IN THE WORLD:
Robert & Connie*
~*My Dad Is A King And My Mother Is An Angel*~
My Parents are more Powerful than the Federal Reserve. I would not Doubt it if Some Day, the world knew it.
I Thought of Who I Miss and Wish To Be Included for These Dreamy Days. Never Meant to Leave*
My Island Life After I Could Have Been Shot 2 Nights Before September 11th*
The First Day I Was Here, A Woman Met Me & Within 10 Minutes, She Guessed a Lot About Me...
And She Gave Me This. A Piece Of Paper. It Read...
How To Be An Artist
Stay Loose. Learn to watch snails. Plant impossible gardens. Invite someone dangerous to tea. Make little signs that say YES! And post them all over your house. Make friends with freedom and uncertainty. Look forward to dreams. Cry during movies. Swing as high as you can on a swingset, by moonlight. Cultivate moods. Refuse to “be responsible.” Do it for love. Take lots of naps. Give money away. Do it now. The money will follow. Believe in magic. Laugh a lot. Celebrate every gorgeous moment. Take moon baths. Have wild imagings. Transform dreams, and perfect calm. Draw on walls. Read everyday. Imagine yourself magic. Giggle with children. Listen to old people. Open up. Dive in. Be free. Bless yourself. Drive away fear. Play with everything. Entertain your inner child. You are innocent. Build a fort with blankets. Get wet. Hug trees. Write love letters.
Peace
Peace is not something you wish for; it is something you make, something you do, something you are, and something you give others.
Friendship
Create understanding and appreciation for our differences that raises confidence and dignity while inspiring mutual trust, personal responsibility, increased cooperation, and greater acceptance as unique individuals.
(Peace and Friendship Were From The Book: Men are from Mars, Women are From Venus)
How To Be An Artist
Stay Loose. Learn to watch snails. Plant impossible gardens. Invite someone dangerous to tea. Make little signs that say YES! And post them all over your house. Make friends with freedom and uncertainty. Look forward to dreams. Cry during movies. Swing as high as you can on a swingset, by moonlight. Cultivate moods. Refuse to “be responsible.” Do it for love. Take lots of naps. Give money away. Do it now. The money will follow. Believe in magic. Laugh a lot. Celebrate every gorgeous moment. Take moon baths. Have wild imagings. Transform dreams, and perfect calm. Draw on walls. Read everyday. Imagine yourself magic. Giggle with children. Listen to old people. Open up. Dive in. Be free. Bless yourself. Drive away fear. Play with everything. Entertain your inner child. You are innocent. Build a fort with blankets. Get wet. Hug trees. Write love letters.
Peace
Peace is not something you wish for; it is something you make, something you do, something you are, and something you give others.
Friendship
Create understanding and appreciation for our differences that raises confidence and dignity while inspiring mutual trust, personal responsibility, increased cooperation, and greater acceptance as unique individuals.
(Peace and Friendship Were From The Book: Men are from Mars, Women are From Venus)
This Reminds Me Of My Childhood...
A Determined Person*
Yet, I Had A Lot On My Mind...
After I Wrote The Beginning in 8th Grade; A Decade Later, In My Inauguration, It Was Said...
"Taking The human species to a newer and higher stage of development can never be performed by men in the mass. It is always performed by the few exceptional individuals who break through the stereotypes and assert their own idiosyncratic selves. In consequence, the men who carry the evolutionary drive in them are bound to seem unreasonable to their fellows, and to be unreasonable by existing standards. They speak for the virtue of an unbreakable, concentrated, and eccentric vision; for ecstasy, and for the power of an original mind to draw the world after it."
"They Do Not Seek Agreement With Others."
Fredrick Nietzsche
"They Do Not Seek Agreement With Others."
Fredrick Nietzsche
She Rushed Up From the Waters
"Lucky We Were Both That Far Away So We Could both Make Fun Of Distance"
Shakira
The Word 'Vida' Means Discovery...
Shakira
The Word 'Vida' Means Discovery...
Paradise...
It Lives as It Gives...
The Sun, The Shore, And The Sand
Between the Staircase and the Cove
Held Captive To These Dreams...
And Trapped For What They Mean...
Blog Archive
About Me
- C R U M
- I am a world traveler that has ventured to Alaska, Ireland, and the Virgin Islands. I love writing, music, conversation, art, imagery, and humor. I am planning to graduate and take myself to the Caribbean.
Me and my Bro Celestino
The Projex and connects
Me and My Friends
Justin and Brandy
Crum @ St. Thomas
Maybe I Was Supposed To Come Here...
Teenage Dragon*
Locked Within The High School Halls Where it All Began
Our Scars Remind Us
That the Past Is Real*
Lookin' Out...
Following The Star I May Have Came From...
My Own Metaphorical Reflection
My Own Internal Spirit....
Endless Summer?
I'm Sure...
A Pirate Key To a Particular Treasure...
A Ship Musta Wrecked : )
Endless Blue
Blue Radiance ~ Blue Waters ~ Blue Eyes ~ Blue Shorts~
Beautiful Virgo
Thy Will Be Done On Earth As It Is In Heaven
I Do Believe in Magic
Even When In Doubt*
Overlook***
Guessin and Blessin
My shores Are Not Like These Ones...
But I Miss Home A Lot...
And and My Islander Friend Jack
He Says I'm Mucho Man Randy Savage, a Tiger, and a LION : )
A Tiger In An Ideal World
Residing in the Tropics & Exotics
~ **** ~ Anyone Who Guesses This Four Letter Word Wins
It Isn't What You Think... Believe Me*
Passion on the Beach
Under The Moon
Lost In The Falls
Reflections of my Past
See... This Was That Night...
Happy and Hilarious to Hear : )
Power & Serenity
The Coast ~ HOME
This Was One of My Travels...
It's as Famous as the Coral Reefs, The Grand Canyon, & Many other Worldly Locations...
Heaven... Get There to Escape Here...
Or Find Someone in This World to Enjoy Eternally
Harry Potter Was Here Huh?
Cliffs of Moher
C.R.U.M.
Maybe Some Day
Me and the Governor Of The Virgin Islands
He Said He Is Happy I'm Here****
No Industrial Struggle
Life Should Be An Adventure... And It Actually Is...
I'm getting In It.
It's So Warm*
Last Time I Ate Mushrooms
My Third Eye Opened... And Numbers and Symbols Meant So Much More*
Me And My Hetero Life-Mate
Hebert Was The Most Hilarious and Out Of Control Soul Ever*
And HOME...
I Would've loved to talk when I was here...
The Sunset Comin'
La La La
A Lotus!?
You KNOW THIS : ) LOL
Away From The States
You Wanna Go Don't You?
Lion on the Island
Wishin' for the Emerald Pool
Tiger in the Water
Unto the Secret Cave
Another World Under Water
Breathe
The Light House
A Second Chance
Before the Honeymoon
Friends of the Mermaids
Virgin Island Radio Station
They Brought Me Here After Open Mic Night on 9/11
My Inaugeration
Run To The Water...
Rest Easy...
3 Libras ~ 4 All Who Have Asked as Well as All Who Will*
A Song & Symbol About Being Over-looked. Or Disregarded. 1 Of The Most Beautiful, Somber Songs Ever
My Solitary Night at the Bay by the Equator
I was really restless on my birthday. I could not go to sleep. I had a lot on my mind on a night like that. So I took my IPOD and walked around campus just rockin’ out in my own mode alone. I never wear shirts here except when I have to. Never at night unless I’m inside a building. I was next to the housing building here at UVI and all I had was my sandals, my shorts, my IPOD and my bandanna. I saw an on-campus cop drive up the road as if he was just driving by. Of course I thought he was gonna keep driving and I didn’t think anything of it at all. But naaah. He stopped right behind me and I pulled my headphones off that were on blast. And he started talkin’ like a cop at me. I wasn’t doin’ anything wrong at all but apparently it was an issue to have my shirt off at night here in the Caribbean. It sounded quite retarded so in my politeness, I asked him if it was illegal to be without a shirt here in the Virgin Islands. He said, “Just put on your shirt. If your on campus, you have to wear a shirt. If you are at the beach you don’t.”
So I’m like, “Aright, well, I was not aware because I just got here a week and a half ago so I did not know that was criminal. Could you tell me what law I’m breaking so I know what not to do since I am new here?”
He started to get authoritative with his debates and I believed that if he was gonna conduct his occupation in a professional manner, he’d have no problem acknowledging the laws instead of making them up according to his own arouses. As soon as I was courteous and well-spoken against this nonsense, he clearly reaffirmed his silly demands and drove off. He implied some kinda fine for something that isn’t called for. It is only in examples like these that I delight on disobeying police officers. Or authority in general. And Gandi did it all the time maan. I would never give a police officer a reason to practice his occupation. Evil people do it daily. I’m not one of those people though. However, at times, I’m very capable of taking justice into my own hands because I don’t believe the criminal justice systems are always pacifying or affective. There are 3 types of Justice: Social Justice, Street Justice, or Legal Justice (which is also considered court justice). This security officer probably expected me to go to my room and get in my dresser and comply with his demands. But I figure if he wants to say I can’t be on campus without a shirt but I can be on the beach without a shirt, then I’m not gonna go the direction he demanded me to. I just walked my half-naked ass to the beach and gave myself my own peace of mind.
However, everyone here says it is very dangerous to go to the beach at night. I heard it 10 times within 4 hours the first night. All faculty members give repetitive warnings about going to the beach at night. To do so in groups is not as “risky” (as they say) but to go in small numbers is not advised. Let alone, going by yourself. People declare there is a danger in going down there, but that doesn’t really worry me. I enjoy danger sometimes too to be truthful. It can be a thrill every now and again. So going to the beach alone was never a worry to me. Even though, apparently, no one else will. So I walked on…
This is where I realized something on my 26th birthday…
I was sitting alone by the Caribbean Bay at Brewers Beach. Brewers Beach is property of The University of the Virgin Islands. My college here has its own beach. I was close to the humid tropic waters washin’ against the white sands at night staring into the clear night sky. I saw stars that are not visible where I am from. Reason why, is because I was practically on the equator. I saw constellations that are not possible to see back at home. I was finally where I always wanted to be. Years ago, I fantasized about ultimately residing at a place where I could feel content and humble, a lot like a lion in a jungle. I never really believed these things were possible to occur so soon from the time I had desired it just a few years ago when I got my foot in the door at the University in Southern Oregon. I was a transfer student from South Western Oregon Community College in Coos Bay / North Bend that was able to get back in school when I was 23, because I just TRIED two years ago. And now, I turn 26 this day, this night. And it dawned on me. I looked into the Caribbean night sky believing I might see shooting stars over the Atlantic or the waters beyond the shores of these islands. But I said to myself, “Even if I was to see a shooting star, I’d let it go. I wouldn’t make a wish. I’d just watch it soar.” Long ago, as I was counting my struggles and my own difficult stepping stones just getting out of Bandon to a place that has more for me, I was once obsessed with the concept of shooting stars. People have told me they think I’m very interesting, or SO interesting. I hear it almost all the time. I’ve only been here 13 days and I’ve already heard that compliment at least 7 times. So long ago, some people believed it would be cool to ask me what I would wish for if I could have one thing come true. I told them, “You wanna know what I’d wish for?” “Yeah, we do Justin…” "Well… I guess I would wish that I didn’t NEED a wish…” And so for the very first time in my life, on my 26th birthday, I realized what I wished for long ago became true for me then and there. I was where I always wanted to be. Of course people would declare an undying desire to wish for love. And I’m no different when it comes to that. I guess there is no way that anyone has everything. And even if they DO, it doesn’t mean they earned it.
When I was in Bandon growing up, I always drew a lot of power and serenity from the beaches at home when I was a teenage dragon living in a world of chaos. It was my place of refuge when things got beyond my scope. Power and serenity were the two descriptions that captured what it was like for me then, and there. But these beaches here, it wasn’t as much power and serenity, I actually felt more free and euphoric.
I kept hearing a buncha crazy sand insects that lead me to wonder if there were any scorpions here, or particularly 15 feet within my radius. And I kept my eye out about my surrounding. But it was not long till my worries and wonders were alleviated. But I have always had my own way of handling things I guess. And I have been employed as a councilor before so a lot of the time, I trust my own advice to myself whether people would know so or not.
After thinking out loud in a way, or letting my mind recite things I wished could’ve been heard; I got to the point where I felt very comfortable instead of conflicted. Soon after, I stared at the beaches from left to right. Then I looked into the sky, saw a very powerful shooting star, and then walked home alone. I was listening to song called ‘Where Fishes Go’ by the band LIVE. And I really felt this song so much that my body language was quite clear of this truth. It felt very powerful to me. But just as subtle too.
My Endless Night
It Let Me Let It Go
Spring of 2007
Before I Went and Busted my Back at Alitak in the Summer
~The Day It All Began~
As orientation was gonna begin after our breakfast in the gym, a woman came up to me and asked who I was, where I was from, what I do, and why I am here. Her name was Judith. Upon how I spoke and what I said, she asked me if I would be willing to do an interview for the president's projex. She believed I'd be an excellent person to interview for this objective because of where I'm from and why I came. I said, "absolutely, I'd be honored to." She introduced me to a man named Oliver. Oliver was the camera man for the Orientation at The University of the Virgin Islands. He was creating media for the entire event. I'm quit sure he is colleagues with the President.
He came to my table. I introduced myself. I gave him an idea of who I was and we quickly found out that we do a lot of the same things. He never knew I did Video Production. And there he was shooting film for the fine arts. I told him why I came here. I told him what part of coming here was hard for me, that my adorable girlfriend is at home and I miss her with all my heart. I also told him about my media online through youtube as well as what I've accomplished at my home University. I told him about the things that have to do with my television shows, my radio shows, how I was published in a non-profit International Psychology Magazine among Masters and Doctors of America, and how I am generally creative in many realms beyond media alone. I gave reference to my internet books. He took notes in his IPHONE. He was stoked to know who I am upon our brief meeting.
I told him I created a lot of these internet books after I had almost died. He asked what happened. I showed him the scar on my stomach as well as the tattoo on my chest. This provoked very passionate conversation.
The Whole time, there were two people sitting directly across the table from me. A Young man and a Girl. As I told Oliver I was from Bandon Oregon along the West Coast of America, I also mentioned Southern Oregon. That girl that was across the table heard these things and lit up a little bit and began to ask me "Where at in Oregon?" I said, "I know exactly who you are. We used to work at Mt. Ashland with eachother."
Oliver was stunned and she said, "Oh My God, I knew you looked SO familiar!" I says, "Yeah, I'm CRUM, the one that runs the Parking Lot at the Mt Ashland." :)
Oliver started rollin' tha Cameras man!! LOL HAHAHAH... She was like "No Way Man! How Bizarre."
Oliver was like, "You all know each other? And you all never knew you were coming here at all? And now your across the table from each other in the Virgin Islands?" It was like, 'Holy Shit.' Tyler is a home boy and him and his girlfriend, Katelyn, they both moved to bend together after the 2007 season at Mt. Ashland. I was like, "Yeah Oliver, we all worked at the mountain I almost died at. They were ski school and I ran the Parking Lot. Ain't that some shit?"
It was pretty crazy. They both moved to Bend and then recently came to St. Thomas to be transfer students with each other here.
Oliver kept taking a lot of badass pictures for the projex. And soon, the president was to take the stage for the inauguration and opening speech. It was a very inspirational, eloquent, and remarkable speech. I was kinda caught up in thinking of my girlfriend back at home. As well as my ideas of what I'd like to do and pursue here. I kept snapping in and out of the presidents speech but I as noticed what was in front of me, as well as all the powerful things this President had to say, I began to feel chills rendering his encouraging words. It was flawless and awesome. I'm hoping (and kinda sure) that this was recorded and that Oliver will have media record of the whole event. And that I'll be able to acquire it from him and re-watch this man's Presentation. He represented himself as well as all involved in U.V.I. And the students too. This man's name is Dr. David Hall. I went up to him and shook his hand strong and let him know my name and my face, knowing that he'd know my place here. I told him I will be seeing and speaking with him again on our own time. He was pleased and smiled at me with honor.
One thing I can remember real well was a proclamation he made that stated, "Faith conquers fear. And hard work is mightier than doubt."
I really appreciated that passage because it describes a lot of my life... And how my life came to be this way.
After this was over, Oliver approached me again and told me he wants to meet with me again. And meet with me more. I told him I am not hard to find.
He said, "Yeah, you have a powerful presence and a very distinct aura. Yeah mon, Its coool."
And after these events took their course, I went and enrolled in a scuba class. I left this little bingo game to register for scuba before everyone else did and I didn't have a chance to. Just went and made it happen.
And on my way... I found my first IGUANA... And I chased him!! Just like I said I would! : ] hehehehe. And he was big, feisty, and pissed off for sure. I WILL chase many more and pick they asses up with my own hands. I just wait till my homeboy Stino got the camera rollin' for the projex. I make documentaries.
A lot of people heard about me chasing these Iguanas and they was like, "Man, you crazy! I am NOT that adventurous." I started laughin' and I was like, "Well, I AM." They were like, "Damn Justin..."
I was like, "What are they gonna do? Whip me, scratch me, BITE me? So what? So they might make me bleed. They might give me some more scars... They ain't poisonous right?"
I guess everyone started bustin' up laughin' and smilin' like, "Who ARE You?" And of course I let 'em know if they asses is askin' : )
I Saw It from behind & Was Like "Stino, WHOS THIS NAKED WOMAN IN THE WATER?!"
Mermaid's Chair / West Side of the Island...
My First Day Of School: August 17th, 2009. St. Thomas University.
I have three history courses here, and one world literature class. My first day at school was the coolest ever man. My first class was involving poetry and drama. I am one of 3 men in this class. So regarding a lot of the romantic poetry we study. My contributions to the class seem to activate a lot of dialogue among these women here. We studied a poem called “In The Orchard” by Muriel Stewart. It illustrated a woman who really loved the man she had these close moments with, yet in the man’s eyes, it was nothin’ more than fun. So things I said in class really entertained a lot of the fellow female students here.
The professor asked if we believe in love or love at first sight. I told him that I wish we had more background on what occurred between the two characters before this moment in the orchard because it would help shine light on the situation. I said that if they were just new to each other, there wouldn’t be any ground for declaring things as powerful as the word “love.” Some girls had a helluva reaction to this so I was put on a hot-seat. They misconstrued me and asked if I think that men are just heartless.
I said, “No, not at all. I actually mean the opposite. But where I’m from, people could not say such a thing until enough is built up between two people. It was never safe to pronounce something suddenly or soon. It is too powerful to pronounce something with the word “love” in the main-lands because in a society where chivalry is dead, people become frightened for feeling things oriented around the virtues of love. I am not one of those people though because I’m one of the few who actually DO believe in it.
But about this example that is present in this piece of poetry, it is very common to see women believing amorous, affectionate, passionate moments to be oriented around emotional progress when in a man’s eyes, it is done out of sport or fun. That’s all over the place. I’m not that way and I believe women should be regarded with respect, trust, and honor – instead of selfishness, ridicule, or negligence. But I’ve often found that women are just the same way with men like visa versa. Some women are the type to eat a man’s heart out as soon as they see that they can. It does go both ways in most cases. A lot of guys that are true, good, affectionate, and even maybe soft-hearted – they are the first to be disregarded while calloused assholes seem to get somewhere with the most gorgeous girls. It is nothing I abide by or even agree with, but it is very evident. Yet some women are more sensitive than others, meaning that what some women want is oriented around soft-hearted affection, while other girls are just more so socially aggressive or ‘butterfly.’ That might just be an American thing though…
I can also remember saying that I believe in love and monogamy but in my eyes, there is a difference between "loving" someone and being “In” love with someone. I told them I have my reasons though because of my experience and ideals. They were all very curious of this as I spoke in class. So I explained it that "loving someone" is very easy but more often than not, it can be a one-way street; meaning that you could always love someone deeply or hold them in the highest regard in your own heart – but it doesn’t mean the same thoughts or feelings could, or would be returned. Yet, if you are “In” love with someone, that’s what makes life worth while. Because it is mutual. If it isn't mutual, you ain't "In" anything. You just wishin'. But when you find that your actually "in" it, it's even beyond this world. It is a mutual passionate madness that two share with each other when they finally discover it for the right reasons with one another. It is oriented around trust, affection, sex and reflection, effort and understanding, compromise, patience, communication. It is something that exist when two people no longer have any reasons for being doubtful with one another. It is something that exists when two people no longer throw up any walls all around their fears of heart-brake or uneasiness. Its a result of two people becoming something magical with each other as lovers, and as best friends with one another. It is void of fear and doubt and more about running to the end of the world without caution or reason. I’ve only felt it once in my life and it’s pretty priceless. It was actually long-distance too. And it happened very long ago. But I know that acknowledging that you love someone isn’t anything that can be spoken until it is clear or safe to say.
One girl looks me in my eyes and says, “Well… When do you know when to say that you love someone after being with them for so long?”
I looked at her and smiled, leaned in, and was like, “Thassa DAMN good Question."
Then I went to my one of the three of my Caribbean History courses. This was absolutely hilarious. I showed up to the class where I believed I’d be seeing my professor. This kind of structured class has never been known to me at all in any of my classes in any of my education, from a little boy to a full grown man. I found out that we were having this class THROUGH technology. The professor was actually in St.Croix on another island and we do this course here in St. Thomas through a Titan-Tron. And the microphone systems where right next to me and I did not know it at all. It was interactive through live technological equipment. Before this though, the woman who was bringing us to this class, she was so cool and social. She had a lot of style and was entirely helpful. Before we got put through with the right machines that got our professor on some virtual reality screen that was like a webcam, she asked us just in conversation, what we would want to learn knowing we were going into a Virgin Island History course. I gave the first response, “Well, I would think I could found out why these Caribbean Islands became known as the 'Virgin' Islands." The class reacted like, “Holy Shit.” But it was a damn good question maan~ : )
Some had an idea because they are ethnic here or even native in a way. So they had explained it long ago that there were about 10,000 Virgins on these islands and supposedly, they got burned. Something like a holocaust or sacrificial ritual long ago. No one knew why. I says, “Man, those virgins shoulda never been burned at all they shoulda been exalted."
We all introduced ourselves to this woman that was very courteous, cool, and helpful. Two of the guys in this class with me are from New York. And anyways, One of those guys made some Whoopy Goldberg comment to the lady that was cool to us just because she had an accent and an ethnic background. I looked at him and I was like, “Man, you SOUND like your from New York, you know it?” I don’t think he liked that but I’ll be damned if I wasn't gonna say it, whether I was from the West Side or not. And anyways, the other one from New York, he seems cool to me and he’s a psychology major. When he acknowledged this with the professors over the machines, the professor asked, “If you’re a psychology major, could you give a psychological evaluation or elaboration on why it seems most men here have 4 women and that is common or acceptable?”
This guy didn’t respond initially. He kinda acted like he couldn’t hear it (but maybe he just didn't hear it) and I looked at him and I was like, “Man, he just asked you a damn good question, you gonna answer him or what?” And I guess the microphones were still right next to me and I didn’t know so, so I guess I was “on blast” in St. Thomas AND in St. Croix. And all the students in St. Croix were laughin’ they asses off at me through the screen. I became pretty amused because it WAS a blast. I wasn't used to this shit. It was funnier than Hell. Soon as I knew he was a psychology major, I asked him if he knew what the amygdala was. He didn't. The amygdala is the part of the human brain that is responsible for a humans emotions. It is the part of our human psychology that regulates our emotions as human beings.
And whereas, I thought I could just talk to a fellow student right next to me and feel as if I was speaking to him himself, evidently, I was talking over the professors through the machines 'not-knowingly.' So I was just chuckling and I couldn’t stop feeling very hilarious because everything I did or said, they had on blast through machines I never knew. And they had them hooked up to amps with microphones. I was mic’d up and oblivious, and it was craaaazzy.
Later in the night, I went to my last class. I went to my last Caribbean History Course with a professor who seems to be my favorite so far. His name is Mr. Sekou and he is very down-to-earth. He seems just as social and street wise as he is knowledgeable and scholarly. He saw me sitting at the desk and asked me what my name was. I said, “Justin, or Crum, whichever one your more comfortable with.”
“Chrome? Like the metal?”
I was like, “Nah, I am a metal-head but my last name is a four-letter word ~ C.R.U.M.” : )
He was like, “Crum?”
“Yeah, like Malibu Rum but Malibu Crum. Captain Morgan’s Rum, but Captain Morgan’s Crum…”
He was like, “Man, that’s hardcore. You LOOK like a pirate too.”
I was like, “Sometimes I am, but this beard and bandanna… I’m Irish, actually.”
Mr. Sekou was like, “Wow Mr. Crum… Well, have you noticed anything special or odd about this class so far?”
“Nah, not yet man. I just got here about 10 minutes ago.”
“Well… Look around, do you see that me and you are the only two men here?”
“Now that you point it out, yeah, I do actually.”
I found out I was the only man in this class, the rest were women. I was kinda surprised I didn’t know this ahead of time.
He said, “Usually most men believe that to be a GOOD thing but it is true that it can be bad too.”
I was like, “Well, I agree with the first half of what you said but I don’t understand what way it could be bad.”
All the girls started to laugh they asses off. It WAS pretty funny. This man was very aware of the Irish history and heritage. I told him I just got back from Ireland and I ended up speaking for about 15 minutes about what Ireland was like because he believed I woulda been considered a foreigner or that maybe I was discriminated against. I explained it that it was the opposite and I was actually embraced at the place. They thought I was a thrill and they all couldn’t have seen it to be the same experience if I wasn’t there. I described how I found out I was Irish.
He said, “Yeah man, you look Irish. You got a strong beard.”
I told him, “I’m Irish AND Native American. And I guess I got elements of French in me too, which probably explains a lot of romantic ideals or super-sexual energy.”
That was some shit to say in a class full of women but I am well-spoken and it is MY education I’m paying for so I didn’t mind being myself and speaking any truth. But I was more adamant about acknowledging that I didn’t give much validity or curiosity towards the part of my heritage that is French because I found out about the Native American Testimony and the Trans-Atlantic Relations between Ireland and the United States.
I told him that my heritage is a historical dichotomy regarding the Indians genocide and the White Man’s Westward Expansion from 13 colonies to 50 states, at the birth of this nation. And how my family tree is a product of the historical things that came from the conquest that was “From Sea To Shining Sea.” He enjoyed me already.
There were things he professed in his lectures that statistically indicated men’s behavior to be animalistic and sexually irresponsible regarding population crisis’ and how men can seemingly be with several or even many women, yet when women do the same, it is intolerable or unacceptable, even condemned. I was the only man in this class so I was asked to reflect what I thought about how guys can be players but if girls were to do the same, they’d be whores or sluts.
I said, “Well, first of all, I think whores and sluts are precious but I myself believe in love and monogamy. I honestly think it is disgusting that men can conduct themselves as irresponsible pleasure-seekers and somehow be glorified for it. But I feel that way because of what I believe in and I’m not a common example of what most men are like at all. I disagree with the cultural stereotypes that seem prevalent today. I mean, regarding heartlessness, apathy, selfish desensitized outlooks. I do not believe in a lot of what I see in my surroundings at all.
By this time, it seemed that every eye was on me and that they were very interested in hearing me speak. Let alone speaking as the only man in this class. There came another question deriving from economy and death, soldiers and victims.
Mr. Sekou asked us how much we believe a young man’s life is worth if he was to die. And how much a parent could be entitled to regarding lawsuits or settlements if some young man was to either be murdered in the streets or killed in war. This question was pertaining to young men between the ages of 18 and 25. So he asked me,
“Mr. Crum, how much do you think your parents could sue someone for if someone murdered you? What do you think the expense of your death would be worth?”
I says, “I’ve already almost died a few times man, but to…”
Everyone reacted to this instantly and it caused a little disruption but it was a good disruption I guess. I continued and said, “...But to answer your question, my parents wouldn’t be immediately concerned for lawsuits or money if I was to die by someone who killed me. They wouldn’t care about money at all. My Dad would hunt the bastard down and take matters into his own hands and deal with it personally.”
This made quite a reaction too. And I was being very truthful. Everyone thought it was awesome where I was coming from with what I said throughout the day, and that night.
So in reflecting on my first day of school in these tropical dreams, my first day of college here in St. Thomas was incredible!!!
Check This Out! LOL : )
Lady Out The Water. Mermaids is IT....
August 12th at Haven Sight in East Side St. Thomas ~ Me and Celestino***
August 12th,
Today, me and my homeboy here, Stino, we went to the east side of St. Thomas to a beautiful place called Haven Site. I called him up and he told me to take the safari to the other end of the Island and find him there. I made my way and made it happen. I asked him what was up. He said, “The Projex Man.” : )
So when I got there, we began documenting all the footage and photos for the projex. An endless amount of things to see. It was so mind-blowing because everywhere we went was a picture or a clip. We could NOT stop keepin’ the cameras rollin’. It turned out, he knew a very extraordinary man that makes a helluva living doing a lot of the same things I do. He just does it all in the Caribbean. He is a man that owns an extremely powerful media company here. He does a lot of underwater video work for the marine life of what these Islands are like. I found out a lot more after my homeboy introduced me to him. I did not know the way this was gonna go at all. But Stino said, “This is my buddy Crum. He’s amazing man.” I looked at him like, ‘Thanks Man.’ And Stino continued, “Yeah, he is up to a lot and he is a video major. He has his own channel for Cruminal TV in youtube and he has a lot going on.”
Louie is the man’s name. He said, “Excellent, come on in. Lets relax a little.” So me and Stino went into his company’s lobby and sat down. Stino said, “Yeah maan, he’s very articulate and intelligent and he’s hot in the projex. I’ll let him explain what the projex is.” I started to smile and kinda laugh a little. And I spoke. He asked what I do and why I’m here. As well as what I might be looking for.
“I am a video production major at Southern Oregon University and I make and create a lot of media. I had always been more adamant about things like music and writing. I’ve always been tremendously creative because it all reflects what I think and feel. But to answer the question, ‘The Projex’ is terminology for what is considered to be ‘The Fine Arts.’ I’ve done a lot of things like photography, film or video, creative writing, philosophy, I’ve created internet books, I also do digital art and photoshop imaging. And here and now, I just got back from Ireland. In my youtube channel, the short pieces of media I made were just things that served as an example of what could be later on in this trade. Those pieces were described to be either personal and powerful, or more so intellectual and experimental. They all are very different from each other because each piece might have it’s own merit or objective. Some of them were seen and received in college seminars, others were uploaded as references. As I had became international in my travels to Ireland, it seems that I’ve been conducting a video diary of my adventures that became possible through my education. And now that I’m in the Caribbean, I plan to do the same thing here too. I almost died 4 months ago and since then, I’ve took a lot of things into my own hands because I no longer felt comfortable waiting on other people to make my ambitions become possible. I am recording a lot of gorilla footage for montages and documentaries. I always believed that after I almost died, everywhere I go, I know that if I was to make or create media records of my life experiences, I’d upload it into the net and let it exist forever. That’s how I felt about establishing things through youtube.”
We discussed a lot of things and Stino was like, “See man, he’s really good at speaking for himself because he’s articulate.” I try to laugh those words off. He started to explain the things he does here in the Caribbean. This is where things got very interesting in my eyes. His underwater excursions and video productions were one thing, but apparently, there is a huge annual festival right at the brewers bay and this festival has thousands of people all at once. He does media coverage of this and he began to imply things along the line of employment. I just kinda rolled with it because I did not go in there even thinking I’d be seeing or leaving the place with the possibilities of a job like that at a powerful company of the Caribbean. Let alone rendering what it would be like to be employed for things like underwater media or Virgin Island Beach Party Video. It turns out he needed some crew and seemed pretty cool that we met. It did get better.
He explained that there was an investment of at least $155,000 in these projex. And humanity does not know this yet, but there is a camera that is beyond what anyone could conceive of. It is technologically advanced beyond what we know HD to be. It is a camera that is simulated with GPS and is 360 degrees. You operate it like a game boy and it is like virtual reality, but it is REALLY reality. It just throws you into a new location through special glasses that make it seem as if your literally living somewhere you are not. You could be in a living room behaving like you might be underwater. Only 26 of these camera exist in the world. He is the one who owns the one that is in the Caribbean. 9 of them are in IRAQ. And I’m quite sure a thick fistful of them are in Hollywood. I had heard enough cuz thas WOW. I was very clear, humorous, strong, and truthful about what I think and how I feel. And this was GOOD.
Shortly after, I got a tour of his company. I came across the studio and was pretty stoked about a lot of what I saw. I said I do music as much as I do media. And that sometimes, they can blend themselves together well. They suggested me to create a music video.
Apparently it is possible. I’ve always known that anything is possible though. I’m living proof of that truth. This was a huge surprise though because I thought I was just gonna be meeting some cool people. I didn’t see it or believe it that some things like a lot of these suggestions or prospects were gonna manifest themselves just upon an introduction.
So after that, me and my homeboy Stino went to all the tropical shops along the bay. We started rollin the damn cameras again. We came across a lot of tropical attire, sexual dress codes, and exotic souvenirs. Relics of the Virgin Islands. I started clowning about the tours and rosta islanders here.
Today, me and my homeboy here, Stino, we went to the east side of St. Thomas to a beautiful place called Haven Site. I called him up and he told me to take the safari to the other end of the Island and find him there. I made my way and made it happen. I asked him what was up. He said, “The Projex Man.” : )
So when I got there, we began documenting all the footage and photos for the projex. An endless amount of things to see. It was so mind-blowing because everywhere we went was a picture or a clip. We could NOT stop keepin’ the cameras rollin’. It turned out, he knew a very extraordinary man that makes a helluva living doing a lot of the same things I do. He just does it all in the Caribbean. He is a man that owns an extremely powerful media company here. He does a lot of underwater video work for the marine life of what these Islands are like. I found out a lot more after my homeboy introduced me to him. I did not know the way this was gonna go at all. But Stino said, “This is my buddy Crum. He’s amazing man.” I looked at him like, ‘Thanks Man.’ And Stino continued, “Yeah, he is up to a lot and he is a video major. He has his own channel for Cruminal TV in youtube and he has a lot going on.”
Louie is the man’s name. He said, “Excellent, come on in. Lets relax a little.” So me and Stino went into his company’s lobby and sat down. Stino said, “Yeah maan, he’s very articulate and intelligent and he’s hot in the projex. I’ll let him explain what the projex is.” I started to smile and kinda laugh a little. And I spoke. He asked what I do and why I’m here. As well as what I might be looking for.
“I am a video production major at Southern Oregon University and I make and create a lot of media. I had always been more adamant about things like music and writing. I’ve always been tremendously creative because it all reflects what I think and feel. But to answer the question, ‘The Projex’ is terminology for what is considered to be ‘The Fine Arts.’ I’ve done a lot of things like photography, film or video, creative writing, philosophy, I’ve created internet books, I also do digital art and photoshop imaging. And here and now, I just got back from Ireland. In my youtube channel, the short pieces of media I made were just things that served as an example of what could be later on in this trade. Those pieces were described to be either personal and powerful, or more so intellectual and experimental. They all are very different from each other because each piece might have it’s own merit or objective. Some of them were seen and received in college seminars, others were uploaded as references. As I had became international in my travels to Ireland, it seems that I’ve been conducting a video diary of my adventures that became possible through my education. And now that I’m in the Caribbean, I plan to do the same thing here too. I almost died 4 months ago and since then, I’ve took a lot of things into my own hands because I no longer felt comfortable waiting on other people to make my ambitions become possible. I am recording a lot of gorilla footage for montages and documentaries. I always believed that after I almost died, everywhere I go, I know that if I was to make or create media records of my life experiences, I’d upload it into the net and let it exist forever. That’s how I felt about establishing things through youtube.”
We discussed a lot of things and Stino was like, “See man, he’s really good at speaking for himself because he’s articulate.” I try to laugh those words off. He started to explain the things he does here in the Caribbean. This is where things got very interesting in my eyes. His underwater excursions and video productions were one thing, but apparently, there is a huge annual festival right at the brewers bay and this festival has thousands of people all at once. He does media coverage of this and he began to imply things along the line of employment. I just kinda rolled with it because I did not go in there even thinking I’d be seeing or leaving the place with the possibilities of a job like that at a powerful company of the Caribbean. Let alone rendering what it would be like to be employed for things like underwater media or Virgin Island Beach Party Video. It turns out he needed some crew and seemed pretty cool that we met. It did get better.
He explained that there was an investment of at least $155,000 in these projex. And humanity does not know this yet, but there is a camera that is beyond what anyone could conceive of. It is technologically advanced beyond what we know HD to be. It is a camera that is simulated with GPS and is 360 degrees. You operate it like a game boy and it is like virtual reality, but it is REALLY reality. It just throws you into a new location through special glasses that make it seem as if your literally living somewhere you are not. You could be in a living room behaving like you might be underwater. Only 26 of these camera exist in the world. He is the one who owns the one that is in the Caribbean. 9 of them are in IRAQ. And I’m quite sure a thick fistful of them are in Hollywood. I had heard enough cuz thas WOW. I was very clear, humorous, strong, and truthful about what I think and how I feel. And this was GOOD.
Shortly after, I got a tour of his company. I came across the studio and was pretty stoked about a lot of what I saw. I said I do music as much as I do media. And that sometimes, they can blend themselves together well. They suggested me to create a music video.
Apparently it is possible. I’ve always known that anything is possible though. I’m living proof of that truth. This was a huge surprise though because I thought I was just gonna be meeting some cool people. I didn’t see it or believe it that some things like a lot of these suggestions or prospects were gonna manifest themselves just upon an introduction.
So after that, me and my homeboy Stino went to all the tropical shops along the bay. We started rollin the damn cameras again. We came across a lot of tropical attire, sexual dress codes, and exotic souvenirs. Relics of the Virgin Islands. I started clowning about the tours and rosta islanders here.
This an Ode to a lot of some of the Music I Love, as well as Why I Would Here and Now.
Recently in my Life, I get lost in my IPOD a lot. Most people know I conduct Radio shows at my University as a reflection to a lot of the music I love. When I took a Psychology Class, My Professor at SOU asked us, “If you had to choose between losing one of your senses, either being blind or deaf, which one would decide to be without?”
I told him I’d rather be blind because I couldn’t imagine life without music. He said that such a proclamation indicates that I have an eccentric brain-wave in my psychology that is amplified by music. It is true too. He ain’t a Doctor for nothin’ man. Music always helped me cope with things that became beyond my scope. It also serves many purposes other than this though too. It activates a tremendous amount of energy and feeling within me. It triggers a lot of awesome moments that are indescribable, I guess.
So lately in life, for the things that have occurred for me, things have became insane in a way for me. Not literally (I’ve already been THERE), but in the context of what is blessed for the best – and cursed for the worse.
So I felt compelled to post a tribute to the songs that I been relating with in my own personal, magical way. These are a few examples…. And they are pretty close to home here and now.
Counting Only Blue Cars
Dishwalla
Must of been mid afternoon
I could tell by how far the child's shadow stretched out and
He walked with a purpose
In his sneakers, down the street
He had, many questions
Like children often do
He said,
"Tell me all your thoughts on God?"
"Tell me am I very far?"
Must of been late afternoon
On our way the sun broke free of the clouds
We count only blue cars
Skip the cracks, in the street
And ask many questions
Like children often do
We said,
"Tell me all your thoughts on God?
"'Cause I would really like to meet her.
And ask her why we're who we are.
Tell me all your thoughts on God,
Cause I am on my way to see her.
So tell me am I very far -
Am I very far now?"
It's getting cold picked up the pace
How our shoes make hard noises in this place
Our clothes are stained
We pass many, cross eyed people
And ask many questions
Like children often do
"Tell me all your thoughts on God?
'Cause I would really like to meet her.
And ask her why we're who we are.
Tell me all your thoughts on God?
'Cause I am on my way to see her.
So tell me am I very far?"
Am I very far now
Am I very far now
Am I very far now
(This song reminds me of myself so much, specifically in my younger years. It also grants an excellent description of Bandon, “The Sun broke free of the clouds.” A lot of Bandon, within my life; light always indicated direction when the Sun became my friend, when I found God (after he found me). There were so many pain-staking and breath-taking moments with the ways I came up in those days. And the Sun coming through the clouds at certain times, in certain places, it clinched a lot of confirmation that became personal regarding me and things I see to be divine. Its pretty cool.)
Everything And Nothing
By Mudvayne
(I ain’t posting the lyrics to this because it’s more about the music. These words are oriented around dichotomies and relentlessness. I chose to acknowledge this reference because it is the most ferocious and powerful song I’ve heard in all of my IPOD. It really makes my blood rush and it triggers a helluva lotta energy and adrenaline. This is an excellent example of the type of music I’d love to be behind one day later on in life after my life calms down and is grounded again at home where I know things will always be different. If people were to hear this intense track, they would have an excellent idea about my aura. And if you were to listen to this track, you should drink 3 cups of tough coffee, and blast that shit up loud. I highly recommend it.)
Innocent
Our Lady Peace
Oh, Johnny wishes he was famous
Spends his time alone in the basement
With a Lennon and Cobain and
A guitar and a stereo
And while he wishes he could escape this
But it all seems so contagious
Not to be yourself and faceless
In a song that has no soul
I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
And I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
Oh, and Tina losing faith in what she knows
Hates her music, hates all of her clothes
Thinks of surgery and a new nose
Every calorie's a war
And while she wishes she was a dancer
And that she’d never heard of cancer
She wishes God would give her some answers
And make her feel beautiful
I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
One day, you’ll have to let it go
You’ll have to let it go
No...
One day, you’ll stand up on your own
You’ll stand up on your own
Remember losing hope
Remember feeling low
Remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are (one day), we are all innocent
We are all innocent (you’ll have to let it go)
We are, we are (you’ll have to let it go, no..)
We are (one day), we are all innocent
We are, we are (you’ll stand up on your own)
We are, we are all innocent (you’ll stand up on your own..)
We are, we are all innocent
(This is one of the most magical songs I’ve ever heard in my life. And I’m the only one that can say this in a way that became true for my soul as a whole. It is because I have an Uncle that is living in prison forever. In my own teenage pipedreams, as my Dad had saved him from the Death penalty in 1996 for the Hugest case in the United States towards the end of last millennium… No one ever knew that I wish to become so successful that I could in turn, fork over a fortune to save him from Hell where he will reside right now – and until it’s over. This is one song that I have cried to several times in life after I found it in Alaska back in 2005. It reminds me of my biggest wishes and highest desires to ultimately be with an Uncle who suffers an endless amount of unspeakable conditions.
"Unconditional Love"
Tupac Shakur
(Shining Serpent ~ Thankful to God)
(What y'all want?)
Unconditional Love (no doubt)
Talking bout the stuff that don't wear off
It don't fade
It'll last for all these crazy days
These crazy nights
Whether you wrong or you right
I'm a still love you
Still feel you
Still there for you
No matter what (hehe)
You will always be in my heart
With unconditional love
[Verse One:]
Come listen to my truest thoughts, my truest feelings
All my peers doing years beyond drug dealing
How many caskets can we witness
Before we see it's hard to live
This life without God, so we must ask forgiveness
Ask mama why Uncle G. would die
Witness the tears falling free from my eyes
Before she could reply
Though we were born without a silver spoon
My broken down TV, show cartoons in my living room (hey)
One day I hope to make it
A player in this game
Mama don't cry, long as we try
Maybe things change
Perhaps it's just a fantasy
A life where we don't need no welfare
Shit with our whole family
Maybe it's me that caused it
The fighting and the hurting
In my room crying cause I didn't want to be a burden
Watch mama open up her arms to hug me
And I ain't worried bout a damn thang, with unconditional love
[Chorus: 2x]
In this game the lesson's in your eyes to see
Though things change, the future's still inside of me
We must remember that tomorrow comes after the dark
So you will always be in my heart, with unconditional love
[Verse Two:]
Just got the message you've been calling all week
Been out here wild on these streets, ain't had a chance to speak
But you know, with you and me it's on G
We could never be enemies, cause you been such a good friend to me
Where would I be without my dogs
No wonder why when times get hard
Cause it ain't easy being who we are
Driven by my ambitions, desire higher positions
So I proceed Uncle G. eternally in my mission
Is to be more than just a rap musician
The elevation of today's generation
If could make 'em listen
Prison ain't what we need, no longer stuck in greed
Time to plan and strategize, my family's gotta eat
We make somethin out of nothing
No pleasure in the suffering, neighborhood would be good
If they could cut out all the bussin’
The liquor and the weed the cussin’
Send that love off to my block
The struggle never stops (unconditional love)
[Chorus]
[Verse Three:]
I'll probably never understand ya ways
With everyday don’t even need to
Try to change your ways while gettin paid at the same time
I may be crazy with the same mind
Something inside, pictured me died, these are strange times
How come I never made it?
Maybe it's the way the played it. In my heart
I knew one day I gotta be a star
My hopes and all my wishes
So many vivid visions, and all the currency
I'll never even get to see
This fast life soon shatters
Cause after all the lights and screams
Nothing but my dreams matter
Hoping for better days
Maybe a peaceful night, baby don't cry
Cause everythang gonna be alright
Just lay your head on my shoulder
Don't worry bout a thang baby
Girl I'm a soldier (huh)
Never treated me bad, no matter who I was
You still came with that, unconditional love
(This is the Song I wish I could have peformed for my Mother during Swing Choir and Friends when I was a teenager in high school. This song is THE song that reminds me of me and my Mother. There is no way I could listen to this song by myself and not cry. Every time I have ever heard this song alone, water came out of my eyes....)
I told him I’d rather be blind because I couldn’t imagine life without music. He said that such a proclamation indicates that I have an eccentric brain-wave in my psychology that is amplified by music. It is true too. He ain’t a Doctor for nothin’ man. Music always helped me cope with things that became beyond my scope. It also serves many purposes other than this though too. It activates a tremendous amount of energy and feeling within me. It triggers a lot of awesome moments that are indescribable, I guess.
So lately in life, for the things that have occurred for me, things have became insane in a way for me. Not literally (I’ve already been THERE), but in the context of what is blessed for the best – and cursed for the worse.
So I felt compelled to post a tribute to the songs that I been relating with in my own personal, magical way. These are a few examples…. And they are pretty close to home here and now.
Counting Only Blue Cars
Dishwalla
Must of been mid afternoon
I could tell by how far the child's shadow stretched out and
He walked with a purpose
In his sneakers, down the street
He had, many questions
Like children often do
He said,
"Tell me all your thoughts on God?"
"Tell me am I very far?"
Must of been late afternoon
On our way the sun broke free of the clouds
We count only blue cars
Skip the cracks, in the street
And ask many questions
Like children often do
We said,
"Tell me all your thoughts on God?
"'Cause I would really like to meet her.
And ask her why we're who we are.
Tell me all your thoughts on God,
Cause I am on my way to see her.
So tell me am I very far -
Am I very far now?"
It's getting cold picked up the pace
How our shoes make hard noises in this place
Our clothes are stained
We pass many, cross eyed people
And ask many questions
Like children often do
"Tell me all your thoughts on God?
'Cause I would really like to meet her.
And ask her why we're who we are.
Tell me all your thoughts on God?
'Cause I am on my way to see her.
So tell me am I very far?"
Am I very far now
Am I very far now
Am I very far now
(This song reminds me of myself so much, specifically in my younger years. It also grants an excellent description of Bandon, “The Sun broke free of the clouds.” A lot of Bandon, within my life; light always indicated direction when the Sun became my friend, when I found God (after he found me). There were so many pain-staking and breath-taking moments with the ways I came up in those days. And the Sun coming through the clouds at certain times, in certain places, it clinched a lot of confirmation that became personal regarding me and things I see to be divine. Its pretty cool.)
Everything And Nothing
By Mudvayne
(I ain’t posting the lyrics to this because it’s more about the music. These words are oriented around dichotomies and relentlessness. I chose to acknowledge this reference because it is the most ferocious and powerful song I’ve heard in all of my IPOD. It really makes my blood rush and it triggers a helluva lotta energy and adrenaline. This is an excellent example of the type of music I’d love to be behind one day later on in life after my life calms down and is grounded again at home where I know things will always be different. If people were to hear this intense track, they would have an excellent idea about my aura. And if you were to listen to this track, you should drink 3 cups of tough coffee, and blast that shit up loud. I highly recommend it.)
Innocent
Our Lady Peace
Oh, Johnny wishes he was famous
Spends his time alone in the basement
With a Lennon and Cobain and
A guitar and a stereo
And while he wishes he could escape this
But it all seems so contagious
Not to be yourself and faceless
In a song that has no soul
I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
And I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
Oh, and Tina losing faith in what she knows
Hates her music, hates all of her clothes
Thinks of surgery and a new nose
Every calorie's a war
And while she wishes she was a dancer
And that she’d never heard of cancer
She wishes God would give her some answers
And make her feel beautiful
I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
One day, you’ll have to let it go
You’ll have to let it go
No...
One day, you’ll stand up on your own
You’ll stand up on your own
Remember losing hope
Remember feeling low
Remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are (one day), we are all innocent
We are all innocent (you’ll have to let it go)
We are, we are (you’ll have to let it go, no..)
We are (one day), we are all innocent
We are, we are (you’ll stand up on your own)
We are, we are all innocent (you’ll stand up on your own..)
We are, we are all innocent
(This is one of the most magical songs I’ve ever heard in my life. And I’m the only one that can say this in a way that became true for my soul as a whole. It is because I have an Uncle that is living in prison forever. In my own teenage pipedreams, as my Dad had saved him from the Death penalty in 1996 for the Hugest case in the United States towards the end of last millennium… No one ever knew that I wish to become so successful that I could in turn, fork over a fortune to save him from Hell where he will reside right now – and until it’s over. This is one song that I have cried to several times in life after I found it in Alaska back in 2005. It reminds me of my biggest wishes and highest desires to ultimately be with an Uncle who suffers an endless amount of unspeakable conditions.
"Unconditional Love"
Tupac Shakur
(Shining Serpent ~ Thankful to God)
(What y'all want?)
Unconditional Love (no doubt)
Talking bout the stuff that don't wear off
It don't fade
It'll last for all these crazy days
These crazy nights
Whether you wrong or you right
I'm a still love you
Still feel you
Still there for you
No matter what (hehe)
You will always be in my heart
With unconditional love
[Verse One:]
Come listen to my truest thoughts, my truest feelings
All my peers doing years beyond drug dealing
How many caskets can we witness
Before we see it's hard to live
This life without God, so we must ask forgiveness
Ask mama why Uncle G. would die
Witness the tears falling free from my eyes
Before she could reply
Though we were born without a silver spoon
My broken down TV, show cartoons in my living room (hey)
One day I hope to make it
A player in this game
Mama don't cry, long as we try
Maybe things change
Perhaps it's just a fantasy
A life where we don't need no welfare
Shit with our whole family
Maybe it's me that caused it
The fighting and the hurting
In my room crying cause I didn't want to be a burden
Watch mama open up her arms to hug me
And I ain't worried bout a damn thang, with unconditional love
[Chorus: 2x]
In this game the lesson's in your eyes to see
Though things change, the future's still inside of me
We must remember that tomorrow comes after the dark
So you will always be in my heart, with unconditional love
[Verse Two:]
Just got the message you've been calling all week
Been out here wild on these streets, ain't had a chance to speak
But you know, with you and me it's on G
We could never be enemies, cause you been such a good friend to me
Where would I be without my dogs
No wonder why when times get hard
Cause it ain't easy being who we are
Driven by my ambitions, desire higher positions
So I proceed Uncle G. eternally in my mission
Is to be more than just a rap musician
The elevation of today's generation
If could make 'em listen
Prison ain't what we need, no longer stuck in greed
Time to plan and strategize, my family's gotta eat
We make somethin out of nothing
No pleasure in the suffering, neighborhood would be good
If they could cut out all the bussin’
The liquor and the weed the cussin’
Send that love off to my block
The struggle never stops (unconditional love)
[Chorus]
[Verse Three:]
I'll probably never understand ya ways
With everyday don’t even need to
Try to change your ways while gettin paid at the same time
I may be crazy with the same mind
Something inside, pictured me died, these are strange times
How come I never made it?
Maybe it's the way the played it. In my heart
I knew one day I gotta be a star
My hopes and all my wishes
So many vivid visions, and all the currency
I'll never even get to see
This fast life soon shatters
Cause after all the lights and screams
Nothing but my dreams matter
Hoping for better days
Maybe a peaceful night, baby don't cry
Cause everythang gonna be alright
Just lay your head on my shoulder
Don't worry bout a thang baby
Girl I'm a soldier (huh)
Never treated me bad, no matter who I was
You still came with that, unconditional love
(This is the Song I wish I could have peformed for my Mother during Swing Choir and Friends when I was a teenager in high school. This song is THE song that reminds me of me and my Mother. There is no way I could listen to this song by myself and not cry. Every time I have ever heard this song alone, water came out of my eyes....)
This is Where Narnia was Created ~ The Realm of Eternal Youth
~Theres Been Way Too Much on My Mind in Crum's Chronicles~
Magen's Bay ~ A Place For Lovers (According to the Tour Guide)
He Said It Is Of The Shape Of a Heart. I Said It Looks A Lot Like An Ass* They All Started Laughin' So Hard At Me In The Safari Maan...
My President Of The University of the Virgin Islands. Dr. David Hall*
His Philosophy of a Sacred Calling For Higher Education
~~This Is What He Spoke~~
There are various theories about the role of higher education in public life. Each university should reflect upon its role in society. After twenty nine years as a professor and administrator, I believe that higher education has a sacred calling to fulfill. I invoke the concept of sacredness not to equate our work with religion, but to elevate it to a place of transcendence. The knowledge we impart and values we cultivate can transform the lives of each generation.
Sacredness also suggests that there is something beyond the salary, prestige or privileges that compel us to do this work. So much of the poverty, despair, and alienation that exist in the world are the products of impoverished minds and hearts. It is with deep sense of humility that our institutions strive each season to bring enlightenment to the hearts and souls of those we teach and serve. We do this with our keen minds, our boundless spirits, our sincere respect for people and ideas. Therefore the work we do must always cultivate the mental, emotional, social, and spiritual intelligences, of our students and ourselves. This holistic approach to education gives greater meaning to our work.
I realize that everyone in this University may not embrace this approach to higher education. Yet, I hope in the years to come to engage this community in an open dialogue about these ideas. I share them now because I want to be candid about the values that give meaning to my work as an educator. As President of this special institution, I will remind us often of our sacred calling and our higher awesome responsibility. I am confident that I will be reminded of this calling by the insightful and passionate energy that is manifested daily by our students, faculty and staff. May we collectively answer this call so that future generations will escape the clutches of despair and cynicism, and embrace the sunlight of prosperity and hope.
~~This Is What He Spoke~~
There are various theories about the role of higher education in public life. Each university should reflect upon its role in society. After twenty nine years as a professor and administrator, I believe that higher education has a sacred calling to fulfill. I invoke the concept of sacredness not to equate our work with religion, but to elevate it to a place of transcendence. The knowledge we impart and values we cultivate can transform the lives of each generation.
Sacredness also suggests that there is something beyond the salary, prestige or privileges that compel us to do this work. So much of the poverty, despair, and alienation that exist in the world are the products of impoverished minds and hearts. It is with deep sense of humility that our institutions strive each season to bring enlightenment to the hearts and souls of those we teach and serve. We do this with our keen minds, our boundless spirits, our sincere respect for people and ideas. Therefore the work we do must always cultivate the mental, emotional, social, and spiritual intelligences, of our students and ourselves. This holistic approach to education gives greater meaning to our work.
I realize that everyone in this University may not embrace this approach to higher education. Yet, I hope in the years to come to engage this community in an open dialogue about these ideas. I share them now because I want to be candid about the values that give meaning to my work as an educator. As President of this special institution, I will remind us often of our sacred calling and our higher awesome responsibility. I am confident that I will be reminded of this calling by the insightful and passionate energy that is manifested daily by our students, faculty and staff. May we collectively answer this call so that future generations will escape the clutches of despair and cynicism, and embrace the sunlight of prosperity and hope.
I Forgot What It Was Called!! :) LOL
But I Find the Dolphins Maan...
The Governor Introduced Himself To Me.
I Told Him Who I Am and Why I'm Here... We Smiled...
U.V.I. Club Night
Through the day, my homeboy Penny went to say, “Hey Crum, You wanna party with us tonight mon?” I was like, “Whats Happenin’?”
“U.V.I. Club Night” So I says, “Aite, I’m in.”
And So we got there. We all piled into a University Shuttle. I was to sit up front. And I brought my camera for the projex. It was a blast just getting there man. I kept recording all the cops. All the other UVI people with us just kept laughin’ every time I busted out my camera and recorded the POLICE. They thought that was funny. A lot of people sensed me because of what I do, then they ask me of a lot of things outta curiousity.
So anyways, we got there and went in for free. We started to drink because all the drinks were free for us. Later as the night went on, I ended up meeting a homie who, apparently he’s one of the clubs masterminds. He dug me a lot and after we became friends in an instant, I landed VIP pass and a Badge as a Guest of Honor at one of the hottest clubs in all of St. Thomas for the entire time I’m here.
Close to the midnight hour, it started to become packed. Before I knew it, all the energy was consolidated and concentrated. It became very hot and super-social. A lot of people introduced themselves to me. It turns out that the dancer, she works for the club and SHE met me too. She thought I was from California. I asked her how she could tell because everyone I’ve ever met, whether they were women particularly, or California homies, or even many people who are NOT from California, they all always believe I’m from California when they first start to know me. She kept giving me props for me being ‘California’ but I told her that I’m actually from Southern Oregon and that I grew up on the West Coast of Oregon. Between the Club connect and her (as a Dancer) they were both two people who were involved in all of what the club does, and is. That homeboy of mine that tells me to stop by anytime, cuz money won’t ever matter.
When we went back in though… There were too many women that were tryin’ to make passes at me so I told my homeboy Celestino that we roll outside and conduct the projex. The security guard told me to take my bandanna off. My attire was a controversial. As me and Stino got outside, I started runnin’ my Crum Gums about one of the tightest nights of my life. This “UVI Nite Club," an interview in my own mode. I had the most hilarious and entertaining shit to say and so we rolled with our drinks to the next spot across the way. Duffy’s. Stino had the camera rollin for the projex and I kept conducting the video diary about my travels. He brought the camera up to the tropical residents who were noticin’ what we were doin’. And I can’t wait to make sense of all the footage I have next year. A couple was by the bar and the palm trees. Justin and Brandy. They were both cool and friendly as hell. They thought it was awesome that me and Stino were runnin’ it like that. We got back and the man that practically owns the club, he pulled me aside and introduced me to a lot of his crew. The bartender girls said they were cool and didn’t mind the camera.
I woke up and rocked out to the Smashing Pumpkins ‘Where Boys Fear To Tred.’ There really is only one way to listen to a lot of the music I love. And that is LOUD. The louder it is, the better it feels. Then I went and found some more iguanas.
Free Drinks For Crum
VIP For The Entire Time I'm Here. One of the Hottest Clubs in Saint Thomas.
And The Rest Of The Annual Beach Bash, St. Thomas Chili Cook off.
After me and me friends, Justin and Brandy were tearin' the beach up for a while, I met my other islander crews too. Oliver, the media man from New York. He brought on some interviews for his corporation in Manhattan. I also met my homeboy Tyler and his Girlfriend. I came across colleagues of the media connects in Lambert. And I kept meeting people. We drank a helluva lotta Malibu Rum and Captain Morgan. Some crazy things occurred later. It killed my buzz bad. But before that, Something I am going to speak of, it seemed beyond a dream or even what can be considered to be "Once-in-a-World."
Me and my islander crew, we went a little ways down the bay and into the shade that enclosed a secluded degree of privacy within the forest of palm trees. There was a man that was walkin' by. He noticed someone he knew within our social, and he was called to the mix. This is where shit got VERY crazy to me. In the most greatest way a man can imagine. His name was Tracy and he reminded me of the Society at home in Bandon that I can't stand. All those golfers from 'Bandon Dunes.' The third ranked Golf Course in the world. He was was awesome though.
To make a long story short. As I was introduced to this man, he was like, "CRUM?!"
I was drunk and feelin' fine and Irish on the islands. I was like, "Hell YEAAH! Its my four-letter word for life."
To my own astonishment, he says, "Are you the one they named the bay after?"
I was like, "Huh?! What are YOU talkin' 'bout?"
"Crum Bay. Is that where you from?"
I was like, "You mean ta tell me that there is a CRUM BAY somewhere?!! Nah, it ain't spelled the same man, it can't be. No way in Hell."
Tracy says, "Man there is a CRUM BAY and it IS spelled C.R.U.M. It's about two miles THAT way."
"No WAAAY!! Theres a CRUM BAY HERE?!"
Then it started dawnin' on my drunk mind at the time, of all the places I could ever travel to in my life within my education, I desire the tropics and exotics, I make it happen HERE in St. Thomas. And within around 200 choices or even all the places I decided to go to 'in the world' I came here of all places and exactly 4 months after I almost died, I come to a place in the Caribbean that has a BEACH that is tropic and exotic and it got my last name that came from my family tree. I realized that I had a bay here in St. Thomas and I never knew a DAMN THANG ABOUT IT before or until the moment of. I freaked out. I was pumped.
I couldn't understand how my life has unfolded, and to know some cool stray golfer man I have never seen in my life and still haven't seen again, he informs me that my ultimate renown name is at a bay at the place I chose to pursue since seasons ago. And after damn near dying and then bouncin' back to live again when i was only 5 minutes from passin' on, about me even being HERE, I really just went for it and found myself in Paradise, and there is a CRUM BAY just around the WAY. What are the chances??? That seemed like the 'Truman Show.' Once in a World. Life.
So I was trippin... Yeah... Then later, I went to the Lambert Media Booth after bein very faded and vocal. Worse case scenerio, the shirt I wore to the beach in the first place , I was thinkin' it could've got stolen. But I found out how badass it is to know that there hasn't been a reality around me that involves thieves at all.
There were so many other awesome things between it all. Just countless party people in their badass beach cloths Shorts and swim suits. I saw a girl that looked like she was from the country fair in Eugene and she was hoola hoopin as I walked by and she like, "Can YOU hoolaaaa?" And I says, "Nah, I can't, but you look like you doin' it damn good so just keep carryin' on!!" : ) And I wudn't about ta stay at that hippy shit at all, I kept walkin. I saw a lotta motor cycles just burnin' tire and raisin' noise. I took a lotta footage and photos of it all. But soon enough, that extreme crazy terrible thing happened... That thing called death....
I watched someone drown. He got pulled onto the shore. And so many people saw this transpire. Even though I was very faded and inebriated, I got locked in a mode I guess. I never have known this man and it wasn't determined whether he was gonna be saved or not. I saw the super-serious CPR circle around his lifeless body. He was foamin' at the mouth. In my own mind, as I was a spectator, I was just so concerned and hopeful for this man's survival. I guess the reasons why I saw this and was filled with an eerie hope about him living is because I know what it is like to almost die. The whole time I was just watching all the hysteria and helplessness, I was truly wanting this person to choke up water and roll over and live. I only saw him get carried away in a rescue stretcher and never knew anything more until another crazy coincidence.
After I walked away though, I tried to locate my friends and islander crews, it all started to get back to normal after a little while. Then I realized I killed so much badass media for one of the most dream-like days of my life. I was to inevitably get back to my UVI dorm so I could charge my battery for the night, knowing there was gonna be aftermath after all of this. I caught up with my homeboy Celestino, and discussed the projects. Then I went to make my way a little more than a football field's distance to my room from the beach where I was gonna put my battery on the charger. Later after I knew I would get back to the beach and then back to my room again before the night, I had put my battery on charge so that every thing would add up after and be ready for the nightfall of it all. This was another coincidence: As soon as I left the beach to get go to my room on campus, the hurricane rain came. After I placed my battery on the charger and went back to the beach immediately, the hurricane rain STOPPED. I thought the weather kinda coincided with my decisions because it was only when I left that it hit. It was when I came back that it stopped. Suddenly the sand wasn't so hot you couldn't stand it. It was warm and damp and it felt good.
So the night came... And as it did... I was determined to get to Duffy's where I was to meet Brandy and Justin. It was all the way on the other side of the island but I did not care. I got dressed, and got outta the building and just started runnin' ON FOOT. I did not let a lack of transportation prevent me from my will. Though I knew it was on the other side of the island, I didn't think twice about trying my chances, I never saw them as obstacles. I went for it against all warnings of safety. Sometimes, that's what makes faith exciting. And ya know what? It started raining SO HARD. The hurricane rain came. But... It was an awesome, steady, heavy, warm rain. It was a downpour of water that was just as hot as the air. I became so ecstatic that it excited me to run in a humid hurricane rain. I just kept runnin because it was a thrill. And I only got around the corner... Apparently I was so timely because I looked back and some boys was like, "Hey man, which way you headed?"
"I'm goin' ta Duffy's by Saint and over towards REDHOOK." There like, "Come on man, we got ya." I got in and these people who picked me up, were actually homeboys and I never knew it just enterin' a random vehicle. Yeah man... I got in the back left and they were like, "What's your name man?"
"I'm Crum."
The person I was sitting next to in the back right, he was a homeboy I met at the Club I got unlimited admission to. He's like, "Yeah, man, I know you. Your..."
"Whats up Johnny!?" I was like, "Hell yeah man, I know these boys." So they drove me to the way. Shit got crazy though because the homie drivin' was dangerous, but I like that. He did some crazy shit behind the wheel. We were behind a ranger and he was ALL OVER THE ROAD MAN! I'm like, "Jesus Christ man, let the lines be your friend you got law enforcement in front of you and your on their ASS!!"
I look at Johnny like, "Oh, this is sum shit, man."
And with a law enforcement vehicle in front of us, as if it wasn't bad enough that he was ridin' his ass, he kept going in the other lane like he was gonna pass the PO-LICE. I was like, "Man, you gonna get our asses in trouble huh?!"
He kept bein' brave and stupid and I'm like, "AIte man, this cop is gonna pull us over. Johnny, your boy gonna..."
The cop put his blinker on! I'm like, "Aite man, he's gonna get us!! He's turnin' and then he's gonna get behind us and..."
The law enforcement just kept goin' maan... Holy SHIT!
I tell 'em, "Thats fuckin' insane. I tell you what man, where I'm from, if that was to happen, there would be no way in hell that a cop wouldn't have a helluva hard-on for your license and insurance over THAT shit man..." (I cuss when I get excited or fearful)
And even more so... These homies of mine. This crew... They are boys with the person who just died at the bay. The man that drowned at the chili cook off. I watched their friend pass on that day and they were all in a helluva head space so we gave a dedicated session in memory of him. They were like, "Yeah man, that was our homeboy, our brother~ C.J."
And of all events, minute-for-minute, moment-for-moment, every move I made when I went to make it (just in my determination), it all added up as if every second was as it was suppose to be. I ended up KNOWING that the person I watched get rescued, ended up passin' on. These homies that are friends with him were with him earlier celebrating life just 6 hours before this. The people that randomly picked me up after I was runnin' in warm heavy hurricane rain just happened to be mutual homies of my club connects. They all wanted me to go with them and party with them instead of meeting Justin and Brandy at Duffy's but I had loyal plans.
At the end of the night, I was ultimately at UVI again and I thought to myself under all those tall palm trees, "Damn, I made it to the other side of the island and back for $15."
I went and told the world to kiss my ass through the myspace race : )
Me and my islander crew, we went a little ways down the bay and into the shade that enclosed a secluded degree of privacy within the forest of palm trees. There was a man that was walkin' by. He noticed someone he knew within our social, and he was called to the mix. This is where shit got VERY crazy to me. In the most greatest way a man can imagine. His name was Tracy and he reminded me of the Society at home in Bandon that I can't stand. All those golfers from 'Bandon Dunes.' The third ranked Golf Course in the world. He was was awesome though.
To make a long story short. As I was introduced to this man, he was like, "CRUM?!"
I was drunk and feelin' fine and Irish on the islands. I was like, "Hell YEAAH! Its my four-letter word for life."
To my own astonishment, he says, "Are you the one they named the bay after?"
I was like, "Huh?! What are YOU talkin' 'bout?"
"Crum Bay. Is that where you from?"
I was like, "You mean ta tell me that there is a CRUM BAY somewhere?!! Nah, it ain't spelled the same man, it can't be. No way in Hell."
Tracy says, "Man there is a CRUM BAY and it IS spelled C.R.U.M. It's about two miles THAT way."
"No WAAAY!! Theres a CRUM BAY HERE?!"
Then it started dawnin' on my drunk mind at the time, of all the places I could ever travel to in my life within my education, I desire the tropics and exotics, I make it happen HERE in St. Thomas. And within around 200 choices or even all the places I decided to go to 'in the world' I came here of all places and exactly 4 months after I almost died, I come to a place in the Caribbean that has a BEACH that is tropic and exotic and it got my last name that came from my family tree. I realized that I had a bay here in St. Thomas and I never knew a DAMN THANG ABOUT IT before or until the moment of. I freaked out. I was pumped.
I couldn't understand how my life has unfolded, and to know some cool stray golfer man I have never seen in my life and still haven't seen again, he informs me that my ultimate renown name is at a bay at the place I chose to pursue since seasons ago. And after damn near dying and then bouncin' back to live again when i was only 5 minutes from passin' on, about me even being HERE, I really just went for it and found myself in Paradise, and there is a CRUM BAY just around the WAY. What are the chances??? That seemed like the 'Truman Show.' Once in a World. Life.
So I was trippin... Yeah... Then later, I went to the Lambert Media Booth after bein very faded and vocal. Worse case scenerio, the shirt I wore to the beach in the first place , I was thinkin' it could've got stolen. But I found out how badass it is to know that there hasn't been a reality around me that involves thieves at all.
There were so many other awesome things between it all. Just countless party people in their badass beach cloths Shorts and swim suits. I saw a girl that looked like she was from the country fair in Eugene and she was hoola hoopin as I walked by and she like, "Can YOU hoolaaaa?" And I says, "Nah, I can't, but you look like you doin' it damn good so just keep carryin' on!!" : ) And I wudn't about ta stay at that hippy shit at all, I kept walkin. I saw a lotta motor cycles just burnin' tire and raisin' noise. I took a lotta footage and photos of it all. But soon enough, that extreme crazy terrible thing happened... That thing called death....
I watched someone drown. He got pulled onto the shore. And so many people saw this transpire. Even though I was very faded and inebriated, I got locked in a mode I guess. I never have known this man and it wasn't determined whether he was gonna be saved or not. I saw the super-serious CPR circle around his lifeless body. He was foamin' at the mouth. In my own mind, as I was a spectator, I was just so concerned and hopeful for this man's survival. I guess the reasons why I saw this and was filled with an eerie hope about him living is because I know what it is like to almost die. The whole time I was just watching all the hysteria and helplessness, I was truly wanting this person to choke up water and roll over and live. I only saw him get carried away in a rescue stretcher and never knew anything more until another crazy coincidence.
After I walked away though, I tried to locate my friends and islander crews, it all started to get back to normal after a little while. Then I realized I killed so much badass media for one of the most dream-like days of my life. I was to inevitably get back to my UVI dorm so I could charge my battery for the night, knowing there was gonna be aftermath after all of this. I caught up with my homeboy Celestino, and discussed the projects. Then I went to make my way a little more than a football field's distance to my room from the beach where I was gonna put my battery on the charger. Later after I knew I would get back to the beach and then back to my room again before the night, I had put my battery on charge so that every thing would add up after and be ready for the nightfall of it all. This was another coincidence: As soon as I left the beach to get go to my room on campus, the hurricane rain came. After I placed my battery on the charger and went back to the beach immediately, the hurricane rain STOPPED. I thought the weather kinda coincided with my decisions because it was only when I left that it hit. It was when I came back that it stopped. Suddenly the sand wasn't so hot you couldn't stand it. It was warm and damp and it felt good.
So the night came... And as it did... I was determined to get to Duffy's where I was to meet Brandy and Justin. It was all the way on the other side of the island but I did not care. I got dressed, and got outta the building and just started runnin' ON FOOT. I did not let a lack of transportation prevent me from my will. Though I knew it was on the other side of the island, I didn't think twice about trying my chances, I never saw them as obstacles. I went for it against all warnings of safety. Sometimes, that's what makes faith exciting. And ya know what? It started raining SO HARD. The hurricane rain came. But... It was an awesome, steady, heavy, warm rain. It was a downpour of water that was just as hot as the air. I became so ecstatic that it excited me to run in a humid hurricane rain. I just kept runnin because it was a thrill. And I only got around the corner... Apparently I was so timely because I looked back and some boys was like, "Hey man, which way you headed?"
"I'm goin' ta Duffy's by Saint and over towards REDHOOK." There like, "Come on man, we got ya." I got in and these people who picked me up, were actually homeboys and I never knew it just enterin' a random vehicle. Yeah man... I got in the back left and they were like, "What's your name man?"
"I'm Crum."
The person I was sitting next to in the back right, he was a homeboy I met at the Club I got unlimited admission to. He's like, "Yeah, man, I know you. Your..."
"Whats up Johnny!?" I was like, "Hell yeah man, I know these boys." So they drove me to the way. Shit got crazy though because the homie drivin' was dangerous, but I like that. He did some crazy shit behind the wheel. We were behind a ranger and he was ALL OVER THE ROAD MAN! I'm like, "Jesus Christ man, let the lines be your friend you got law enforcement in front of you and your on their ASS!!"
I look at Johnny like, "Oh, this is sum shit, man."
And with a law enforcement vehicle in front of us, as if it wasn't bad enough that he was ridin' his ass, he kept going in the other lane like he was gonna pass the PO-LICE. I was like, "Man, you gonna get our asses in trouble huh?!"
He kept bein' brave and stupid and I'm like, "AIte man, this cop is gonna pull us over. Johnny, your boy gonna..."
The cop put his blinker on! I'm like, "Aite man, he's gonna get us!! He's turnin' and then he's gonna get behind us and..."
The law enforcement just kept goin' maan... Holy SHIT!
I tell 'em, "Thats fuckin' insane. I tell you what man, where I'm from, if that was to happen, there would be no way in hell that a cop wouldn't have a helluva hard-on for your license and insurance over THAT shit man..." (I cuss when I get excited or fearful)
And even more so... These homies of mine. This crew... They are boys with the person who just died at the bay. The man that drowned at the chili cook off. I watched their friend pass on that day and they were all in a helluva head space so we gave a dedicated session in memory of him. They were like, "Yeah man, that was our homeboy, our brother~ C.J."
And of all events, minute-for-minute, moment-for-moment, every move I made when I went to make it (just in my determination), it all added up as if every second was as it was suppose to be. I ended up KNOWING that the person I watched get rescued, ended up passin' on. These homies that are friends with him were with him earlier celebrating life just 6 hours before this. The people that randomly picked me up after I was runnin' in warm heavy hurricane rain just happened to be mutual homies of my club connects. They all wanted me to go with them and party with them instead of meeting Justin and Brandy at Duffy's but I had loyal plans.
At the end of the night, I was ultimately at UVI again and I thought to myself under all those tall palm trees, "Damn, I made it to the other side of the island and back for $15."
I went and told the world to kiss my ass through the myspace race : )
A Good Idea of What Haven Site Is Like
An Excellent Impression of Virgin Island Night Life.
I Found This Ahead of Time 2 Days Before 9/11
I went to look at my favorite artists paintings. I have never done this before. I only clicked on an image to view a picture. I found a website that was a rainbow of messages about gratitude. I couldn't believe it. I got chills and realized that I would have never learned this if I had never chose this road. I would have never chose this road if it wasn't for certain questions... A question she asked at the beginning of the year.
I got home at UVI and went into the net before midnight in the Caribbean. I accidentally discovered a luminous message of gratitude. I just looked up my favorite painting artist. It was about 15 minutes before the next date (9/10/09). I came across this random web page by total accident. This website was a rainbow of colors with messages of gratitude. I started to read something that seemed like a scroll in a sea-bottle. It gave great ideas of what gratitude is. I never even seen or heard of this sight in my life, but by coincidence or something more, maybe it was somehow supposed to be seen. At this point and even before this moment, I realized I may have did and said some things that I regret. I became afraid of some of my surroundings. I became afraid for some of my loved ones. I became afraid of decisions I have to face. I also became afraid of jumping from one season to another that is usually half a year apart. When I read this moment of messages, I felt like I might have learned a lot and that I would never have had this moment happen if I didn’t come here.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Celebrate Life. Find time to sing and dance and to be creative. You are the creative artists of the Universe. This is how you hold your balance on the Inner Planes; by setting the intention to celebrate the gifts of life and love as they are experienced every day.
(Celia Fenn) - www.starchildascension.org
And we exist! That alone is miraculous! We have survived a chronic, often fatal disease. For many of us, life is better than before addiction, because we've found a new appreciation for life, a new depth and peace, a new calmness. And we can continue to grow in recovery each beautiful day that is given to us. Today babies across the world are being born, bringing millions of hopeful and exciting possibilities into our world. Now, we're ready to take our place in the sun as one of the world's new hopeful possibilities. We live and breathe and feel and think, and we are watched over by a Higher Power who loves us and has a plan for our lives. Today let me look for the good in my world and be thankful.
(Source) - www.hazelden.org
Acknowledge and appreciate the positive situations, events and relationships. Every time you celebrate these 'assets' you accumulate more energy and increase your resilience. (Unknown)
You can feel your own brightness increasing, your own sense of joy growing larger as you speak words of encouragement.
(Orin through Sanaya Roman - From the book, Personal Power through Awareness) - www.orindaben.com
The end of the harvest season brings to mind the art of appreciation. Offering thanks to a higher power and being appreciative of gifts bestowed to us by nature is an important activity. Every culture on the planet has some sort of thanksgiving ritual that has been passed down from generation to generation. The art of appreciation is one that can bring a feeling of light and love into one's life. I make it a daily practice to look around and notice all of the things that I am grateful for. Good friends, loving family, good health and the beauty of nature are just a few of the things that I appreciate each and every day.
(Karen Stokes, RN)
Appreciating all that we have in our life produces harmonious relationships, creative and meaningful work, physical wellness, and genuine, long lasting prosperity. Appreciation validates our worth while affirming we are deserving of having everything our heart desires. And as we relish all the wonderful aspects of our life, more abundance is allowed to pour forth, creating a consistent wellspring of balance, joy and peace.
(Laura V. Hyde) - www.laurahyde.com
At the end of our life our questions are simple: Did I live fully? Did I love well? (Jack Kornfield)
Allow yourselves every day to find something to be grateful for. A grateful heart is a heart full of greatness, dear ones. We laugh at your wording. A grateful heart realizes that you live in an abundant universe and if you can give thanks for even the smallest pleasures you will be blessed with so many more. A grateful heart knows that God will take care of you when you don't know how, that you can find inner joy in tumultuous times, and that love is a condition generated from within and that peace is not dependent upon outer circumstances. A grateful heart can find a miracle with each breath you breathe. A grateful heart can find beauty in the flower growing through the cracks in the concrete. A grateful heart can bless the tougher lessons and release them, indulge in the joy of the easy lessons, and wish the best for all around you.
In truth, there are many parts to your journey on the Earth plane, that you have not understood to be of importance. All that is needed, is the willingness to be in a place of thankfulness, of gratitude, that you have the gift of Life, of experiencing, on the Earth plane at this momentous time of Shifting consciousness. And in that Light, to find what is there in the simplest of things, to enjoy, to be in wonderment of, to share this pleasure with others, that all may come to understand that life does not have to be the following of a series of lists of things to be done by when, but can be a process of flow, of Harmony, of Joyousness in the moment.
What does this look like, when you have deadlines to meet, or cannot seem to structure your day other than to rush from one thing to another? Even so, there are moments, and there are times, when you give yourself the opportunity to show Love to another, to express your own delight in something beautiful or funny or wonderful around you, that brings the magic of Love into your day. And when you find it within you, to give this time, this opportunity for Love, to Your Self, the magic truly begins to unfold before you.
Begin by taking the steps to Enjoy what you do, to discover what that is, and to do more and more of it, until you are always in a state of Love energy, for what you are doing nourishes the very heart of you, and so Love is expressed from you and through you at all times. Even when you feel yourself to be having a "bad day", if what you are doing is that which for the most part, nourishes you, there is little change in the energy that is released by you, as it is perceived by others around you. And when you take the trouble to shift your own energy to a more pleasing way of Being, Love is multiplied even more than before.
(Tikele) - www.tikele.com.au
Gratitude, dear ones, is truth. Look back upon your lives in this season of giving thanks and bless both the joyful times and the tough ones, for they have created you to be the light workers that you are today. Give thanks for both the most difficult person in your life and what you have learned from them (strength, patience, compassion, self-love) and the most supportive person. Write a note to someone you appreciate or simply thank a clerk that assists you kindly as you go about your day. Give thanks for your courage in being here upon planet earth and being willing to walk in truth. We, the angels, are grateful to be in partnership with you as we continue to explore and expand the love in your world. There is always something to be grateful for dear ones. Find that, and your joy will expand.
(The Angels through Ann Albers) - www.visionsofheaven.com
Whenever we perceive we're not receiving something it's usually because we're failing to appreciate what we already have and blocking the natural flow of abundance. Thus, the most common way to keep a trickle from being a torrent, is to not appreciate what we currently have.
(Laura V. Hyde) - www.laurahyde.com
The most basic and yet profound blessings, such as the food we eat and the water we drink, are often not even recognized - let alone acknowledged or appreciated. As we rush about, meals are often eaten mindlessly without a thought, let alone a ceremony of appreciation. No matter what your religion, taking a moment to 'give thanks' will help foster appreciation and gratitude. (Patti Teel)
The most basic and yet profound blessings, such as the food we eat and the water we drink, are often not even recognized - let alone acknowledged or appreciated. As we rush about, meals are often eaten mindlessly without a thought, let alone a ceremony of appreciation. No matter what your religion, taking a moment to 'give thanks' will help foster appreciation and gratitude.
(Patti Teel) - www.pattiteel.blogharbor.com
Do you know when you're having fun, when you're joyful, when you're appreciating yourself and your life, you are - at that moment - fully aligned with your higher self? You are fully aligned with, and in tune with, the wiser, powerful part of you who exists eternally in the realms of spirit. That wise, loving, powerful part of you lives in a continual state of bliss and joy. And when you are fully aligned with it, through your human joy, you will find your life becoming so easy and effortless. And you'll wonder why you ever bothered to live any other way. We used the word "bothered" just now. It truly is a bother to live your lives joylessly, with struggle and suffering. But it's become such a seemingly "normal" way of life, and you think that's the way it's supposed to be. Nothing could be farther from the truth!
You've become so accustomed to life being difficult, you forget it can also be easy. In fact, it's supposed to be easy! If you're finding yourself struggling with any aspect of your life, know this: You've really had to work at getting to where you are today – to getting to the struggling and suffering. You've probably had to work hard at it. With a fraction of that effort, you can make your life as easy tomorrow as it was hard today.
Well-being is your natural state. Struggle and suffering are not your natural state. It is always easier to create your life, your reality, when you are aligned with your natural state, the state of well-being. You did not come to earth to suffer through long years of struggle. You came here to play, to create, to love passionately, to live joyously. In short - to have fun! And then when you're done with this lifetime, you move on to another passionately joyful adventure. You'll never get it done, friends. You live forever. What you call "death" is not the end, only a new beginning.
However, many of you consider death the end. And that's okay. But ask yourself this question every morning, even before you get your body out of bed: What would I do today if I knew this was my last day on earth? Then answer the question honestly. And then begin to live every day as it if was your last. Live it freely, joyfully, passionately. Live like you were dying.
(Chief Joseph through John Cali) - www.greatwesternpublishing.org
The most basic and yet profound blessings, such as the food we eat and the water we drink, are often not even recognized - let alone acknowledged or appreciated. As we rush about, meals are often eaten mindlessly without a thought, let alone a ceremony of appreciation. No matter what your religion, taking a moment to 'give thanks' will help foster appreciation and gratitude.
(Patti Teel) - www.pattiteel.blogharbor.com
Do you know when you're having fun, when you're joyful, when you're appreciating yourself and your life, you are - at that moment - fully aligned with your higher self? You are fully aligned with, and in tune with, the wiser, powerful part of you who exists eternally in the realms of spirit. That wise, loving, powerful part of you lives in a continual state of bliss and joy. And when you are fully aligned with it, through your human joy, you will find your life becoming so easy and effortless. And you'll wonder why you ever bothered to live any other way. We used the word "bothered" just now. It truly is a bother to live your lives joylessly, with struggle and suffering. But it's become such a seemingly "normal" way of life, and you think that's the way it's supposed to be. Nothing could be farther from the truth!
You've become so accustomed to life being difficult, you forget it can also be easy. In fact, it's supposed to be easy! If you're finding yourself struggling with any aspect of your life, know this: You've really had to work at getting to where you are today – to getting to the struggling and suffering. You've probably had to work hard at it. With a fraction of that effort, you can make your life as easy tomorrow as it was hard today.
Well-being is your natural state. Struggle and suffering are not your natural state. It is always easier to create your life, your reality, when you are aligned with your natural state, the state of well-being. You did not come to earth to suffer through long years of struggle. You came here to play, to create, to love passionately, to live joyously. In short - to have fun! And then when you're done with this lifetime, you move on to another passionately joyful adventure. You'll never get it done, friends. You live forever. What you call "death" is not the end, only a new beginning.
However, many of you consider death the end. And that's okay. But ask yourself this question every morning, even before you get your body out of bed: What would I do today if I knew this was my last day on earth? Then answer the question honestly. And then begin to live every day as it if was your last. Live it freely, joyfully, passionately. Live like you were dying.
(Chief Joseph through John Cali) -
www.greatwesternpublishing.org
I got home at UVI and went into the net before midnight in the Caribbean. I accidentally discovered a luminous message of gratitude. I just looked up my favorite painting artist. It was about 15 minutes before the next date (9/10/09). I came across this random web page by total accident. This website was a rainbow of colors with messages of gratitude. I started to read something that seemed like a scroll in a sea-bottle. It gave great ideas of what gratitude is. I never even seen or heard of this sight in my life, but by coincidence or something more, maybe it was somehow supposed to be seen. At this point and even before this moment, I realized I may have did and said some things that I regret. I became afraid of some of my surroundings. I became afraid for some of my loved ones. I became afraid of decisions I have to face. I also became afraid of jumping from one season to another that is usually half a year apart. When I read this moment of messages, I felt like I might have learned a lot and that I would never have had this moment happen if I didn’t come here.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Celebrate Life. Find time to sing and dance and to be creative. You are the creative artists of the Universe. This is how you hold your balance on the Inner Planes; by setting the intention to celebrate the gifts of life and love as they are experienced every day.
(Celia Fenn) - www.starchildascension.org
And we exist! That alone is miraculous! We have survived a chronic, often fatal disease. For many of us, life is better than before addiction, because we've found a new appreciation for life, a new depth and peace, a new calmness. And we can continue to grow in recovery each beautiful day that is given to us. Today babies across the world are being born, bringing millions of hopeful and exciting possibilities into our world. Now, we're ready to take our place in the sun as one of the world's new hopeful possibilities. We live and breathe and feel and think, and we are watched over by a Higher Power who loves us and has a plan for our lives. Today let me look for the good in my world and be thankful.
(Source) - www.hazelden.org
Acknowledge and appreciate the positive situations, events and relationships. Every time you celebrate these 'assets' you accumulate more energy and increase your resilience. (Unknown)
You can feel your own brightness increasing, your own sense of joy growing larger as you speak words of encouragement.
(Orin through Sanaya Roman - From the book, Personal Power through Awareness) - www.orindaben.com
The end of the harvest season brings to mind the art of appreciation. Offering thanks to a higher power and being appreciative of gifts bestowed to us by nature is an important activity. Every culture on the planet has some sort of thanksgiving ritual that has been passed down from generation to generation. The art of appreciation is one that can bring a feeling of light and love into one's life. I make it a daily practice to look around and notice all of the things that I am grateful for. Good friends, loving family, good health and the beauty of nature are just a few of the things that I appreciate each and every day.
(Karen Stokes, RN)
Appreciating all that we have in our life produces harmonious relationships, creative and meaningful work, physical wellness, and genuine, long lasting prosperity. Appreciation validates our worth while affirming we are deserving of having everything our heart desires. And as we relish all the wonderful aspects of our life, more abundance is allowed to pour forth, creating a consistent wellspring of balance, joy and peace.
(Laura V. Hyde) - www.laurahyde.com
At the end of our life our questions are simple: Did I live fully? Did I love well? (Jack Kornfield)
Allow yourselves every day to find something to be grateful for. A grateful heart is a heart full of greatness, dear ones. We laugh at your wording. A grateful heart realizes that you live in an abundant universe and if you can give thanks for even the smallest pleasures you will be blessed with so many more. A grateful heart knows that God will take care of you when you don't know how, that you can find inner joy in tumultuous times, and that love is a condition generated from within and that peace is not dependent upon outer circumstances. A grateful heart can find a miracle with each breath you breathe. A grateful heart can find beauty in the flower growing through the cracks in the concrete. A grateful heart can bless the tougher lessons and release them, indulge in the joy of the easy lessons, and wish the best for all around you.
In truth, there are many parts to your journey on the Earth plane, that you have not understood to be of importance. All that is needed, is the willingness to be in a place of thankfulness, of gratitude, that you have the gift of Life, of experiencing, on the Earth plane at this momentous time of Shifting consciousness. And in that Light, to find what is there in the simplest of things, to enjoy, to be in wonderment of, to share this pleasure with others, that all may come to understand that life does not have to be the following of a series of lists of things to be done by when, but can be a process of flow, of Harmony, of Joyousness in the moment.
What does this look like, when you have deadlines to meet, or cannot seem to structure your day other than to rush from one thing to another? Even so, there are moments, and there are times, when you give yourself the opportunity to show Love to another, to express your own delight in something beautiful or funny or wonderful around you, that brings the magic of Love into your day. And when you find it within you, to give this time, this opportunity for Love, to Your Self, the magic truly begins to unfold before you.
Begin by taking the steps to Enjoy what you do, to discover what that is, and to do more and more of it, until you are always in a state of Love energy, for what you are doing nourishes the very heart of you, and so Love is expressed from you and through you at all times. Even when you feel yourself to be having a "bad day", if what you are doing is that which for the most part, nourishes you, there is little change in the energy that is released by you, as it is perceived by others around you. And when you take the trouble to shift your own energy to a more pleasing way of Being, Love is multiplied even more than before.
(Tikele) - www.tikele.com.au
Gratitude, dear ones, is truth. Look back upon your lives in this season of giving thanks and bless both the joyful times and the tough ones, for they have created you to be the light workers that you are today. Give thanks for both the most difficult person in your life and what you have learned from them (strength, patience, compassion, self-love) and the most supportive person. Write a note to someone you appreciate or simply thank a clerk that assists you kindly as you go about your day. Give thanks for your courage in being here upon planet earth and being willing to walk in truth. We, the angels, are grateful to be in partnership with you as we continue to explore and expand the love in your world. There is always something to be grateful for dear ones. Find that, and your joy will expand.
(The Angels through Ann Albers) - www.visionsofheaven.com
Whenever we perceive we're not receiving something it's usually because we're failing to appreciate what we already have and blocking the natural flow of abundance. Thus, the most common way to keep a trickle from being a torrent, is to not appreciate what we currently have.
(Laura V. Hyde) - www.laurahyde.com
The most basic and yet profound blessings, such as the food we eat and the water we drink, are often not even recognized - let alone acknowledged or appreciated. As we rush about, meals are often eaten mindlessly without a thought, let alone a ceremony of appreciation. No matter what your religion, taking a moment to 'give thanks' will help foster appreciation and gratitude. (Patti Teel)
The most basic and yet profound blessings, such as the food we eat and the water we drink, are often not even recognized - let alone acknowledged or appreciated. As we rush about, meals are often eaten mindlessly without a thought, let alone a ceremony of appreciation. No matter what your religion, taking a moment to 'give thanks' will help foster appreciation and gratitude.
(Patti Teel) - www.pattiteel.blogharbor.com
Do you know when you're having fun, when you're joyful, when you're appreciating yourself and your life, you are - at that moment - fully aligned with your higher self? You are fully aligned with, and in tune with, the wiser, powerful part of you who exists eternally in the realms of spirit. That wise, loving, powerful part of you lives in a continual state of bliss and joy. And when you are fully aligned with it, through your human joy, you will find your life becoming so easy and effortless. And you'll wonder why you ever bothered to live any other way. We used the word "bothered" just now. It truly is a bother to live your lives joylessly, with struggle and suffering. But it's become such a seemingly "normal" way of life, and you think that's the way it's supposed to be. Nothing could be farther from the truth!
You've become so accustomed to life being difficult, you forget it can also be easy. In fact, it's supposed to be easy! If you're finding yourself struggling with any aspect of your life, know this: You've really had to work at getting to where you are today – to getting to the struggling and suffering. You've probably had to work hard at it. With a fraction of that effort, you can make your life as easy tomorrow as it was hard today.
Well-being is your natural state. Struggle and suffering are not your natural state. It is always easier to create your life, your reality, when you are aligned with your natural state, the state of well-being. You did not come to earth to suffer through long years of struggle. You came here to play, to create, to love passionately, to live joyously. In short - to have fun! And then when you're done with this lifetime, you move on to another passionately joyful adventure. You'll never get it done, friends. You live forever. What you call "death" is not the end, only a new beginning.
However, many of you consider death the end. And that's okay. But ask yourself this question every morning, even before you get your body out of bed: What would I do today if I knew this was my last day on earth? Then answer the question honestly. And then begin to live every day as it if was your last. Live it freely, joyfully, passionately. Live like you were dying.
(Chief Joseph through John Cali) - www.greatwesternpublishing.org
The most basic and yet profound blessings, such as the food we eat and the water we drink, are often not even recognized - let alone acknowledged or appreciated. As we rush about, meals are often eaten mindlessly without a thought, let alone a ceremony of appreciation. No matter what your religion, taking a moment to 'give thanks' will help foster appreciation and gratitude.
(Patti Teel) - www.pattiteel.blogharbor.com
Do you know when you're having fun, when you're joyful, when you're appreciating yourself and your life, you are - at that moment - fully aligned with your higher self? You are fully aligned with, and in tune with, the wiser, powerful part of you who exists eternally in the realms of spirit. That wise, loving, powerful part of you lives in a continual state of bliss and joy. And when you are fully aligned with it, through your human joy, you will find your life becoming so easy and effortless. And you'll wonder why you ever bothered to live any other way. We used the word "bothered" just now. It truly is a bother to live your lives joylessly, with struggle and suffering. But it's become such a seemingly "normal" way of life, and you think that's the way it's supposed to be. Nothing could be farther from the truth!
You've become so accustomed to life being difficult, you forget it can also be easy. In fact, it's supposed to be easy! If you're finding yourself struggling with any aspect of your life, know this: You've really had to work at getting to where you are today – to getting to the struggling and suffering. You've probably had to work hard at it. With a fraction of that effort, you can make your life as easy tomorrow as it was hard today.
Well-being is your natural state. Struggle and suffering are not your natural state. It is always easier to create your life, your reality, when you are aligned with your natural state, the state of well-being. You did not come to earth to suffer through long years of struggle. You came here to play, to create, to love passionately, to live joyously. In short - to have fun! And then when you're done with this lifetime, you move on to another passionately joyful adventure. You'll never get it done, friends. You live forever. What you call "death" is not the end, only a new beginning.
However, many of you consider death the end. And that's okay. But ask yourself this question every morning, even before you get your body out of bed: What would I do today if I knew this was my last day on earth? Then answer the question honestly. And then begin to live every day as it if was your last. Live it freely, joyfully, passionately. Live like you were dying.
(Chief Joseph through John Cali) -
www.greatwesternpublishing.org
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